When an emo-themed magazine is accused of causing a rash of suicides among young girls, a new editor is hired to change its editorial direction. Before starting, the new editor decides to dig deeper into the past editor?s affairs and discovers that an inmate, who believes she was wrongly accused of murder by the neighbor?s babysitter, was controlling the magazine from prison.

by Roberto Alto 671 pts

3 reviews

Foxtrot25 17,380 pts ★ Accepted

Roberto,

This plot is all over the place. For the logline purposes, you need to break things down to their raw essence.

A magazine editor is hired to repair the image of a troubled publication until realizing...

Now what is the goal and stakes? You don't have much space to get this done. 1-2 lines. 1 is better.

Richiev Singularity · 82,714 pts

You seemed to have placed the inciting incident at the end of your logline.

When she discovers her magazine is secretly controlled by notorious inmate, a newly hired editor must... (Do this) if she is to (Stop this)

dpg 112,231 pts

All over the place and at 62 words, too long by a factor of two. ?A logline is a statement of the essence of the plot, optimally ?boiled down to 30 words or less.