-
on
A washed up journalist desperate to rekindle his career, forced to take an anniversary piece in a sleepy town must hack through deadly social terrain when he discovers the town harbors dark secrets they want, and anyone who tries to expose them, buried.
Thank you sir, this is great!
-
on
When his murderous creditors granddaughter goes missing, in electric, neon drenched Tokyo, burn out, failed private investigator Joe Horiuchi is given a week to find her to pay off a large gambling debt, and discovers deep seated corruption of politicians tied to human trafficking and the organized crime gangs running them; but when the officer helping Joe wants to arrest him, he must rediscover his purpose in life and earn the trust back of those he cares about in order to venture further down the dark rabbit hole of organized crime to unearth the source of corruption before he gets his arm cut off.
Thank you Brian, I agree it's a little bloated and maybe needs a series main antagonist as well, I'll get on to it!
-
on
After uncovering a grisly homicide near her newly assigned rural workplace a demoted city detective must play a game of cat and mouse with colleagues to reclaim her old job while covertly fighting to attain justice for her daughter.
Thanks Odie!!
-
on
A demoted police detective fights to find justice for her daughter after witnessing a grisly homicide that occurs near her newly assigned workplace.
Hi Vexmeister, Thank you for this, perhaps I should have used discovered rather than witnessed, basically the detective got herself reassigned so she could avenge her daughter, that's the third act twist but I didn't want to reveal that in…
-
on
When a spate of violent unsolved crime spirals out of control, a green FBI agent must accept his Spanish cultural roots and go undercover in order to uncover and bring to justice cops on the different side of the same badge before the city is ripped apart.
That's awesome, thank you Philippe!
-
on
Cultures collide when a flat-footed reservist deployed as a guard befriends a rebellious enemy and must protect them from a sleepy small-town intent on financial gain from an influx of Japanese prisoners of war.
Richiev, thank you very much for this! You are correct the "them" is a single prisoner, so 'll rewrite this to try to reflect that in the logline. Thanks again! Jim in Japan.
-
on
Families must take the law into their own hands after they discover the new neighbors aren’t the perfect family everyone thought they were.
Thank you Richiev, you couldn't be more correct, this logline is very vague, I'll get back to work on it, appreciate your feedback very much. Regards Jim in Japan.
-
on
A disgraced detective reassigned to a residential police box discovers a grisly murder and must protect her daughter from a serial killer targeting young women.
Thank you Ben, yes very helpful! Best Jim in Japan
-
on
On the anniversary of her husband’s death a widower’s life outlook is called into question by the arrival of her husband’s blind friend.
Apologies, made a typo in the last: On the anniversary of her husband’s death a young widower`s bleak life outlook is challenged by the surprise arrival of her husband’s blind friend.
-
on
On the anniversary of her husband’s death a widower’s life outlook is called into question by the arrival of her husband’s blind friend.
Thank you for this! How about: On the anniversary of her husband's death a young widower`s bleak life outlook is called challenged by the surprise arrival of her husband’s blind friend. Seeing and not seeing has bearing on the story,…
-
on
As police uncover a far-right group behind a series of grisly murders sweeping Japan, a police officer and former ultra nationalist seeking redemption must go undercover to prevent his younger brother from going down the same wrong path.
Odie, as always thank you very much for your advice and input, always appreciated! Best Jim in Japan
-
on
A grieving mothers accidental killing of a crime boss collides with her estranged fathers underworld debts, reunited they must escape a police hunt across country in an effort to prove their innocence.
Philippe, thank you very much for taking the time t write this in such detail! I think sometimes my loglines resemble something closer to an elevator pitch and, to me they seem overly long, this advice in concentrating and essentializing…
-
on
Two cultures collide when a flat-footed reservist deploys as a guard befriending a rebellious enemy as a sleepy small town struggles to prepare for an influx of Japanese prisoners of war.
Hi, It's based on a true story from Featherston New Zealand. Best Jim in Japan
-
on
A Japanese soldier discovers his world around him in shambles when he survived and people perished during World War II.
Internal and external conflict might be something to consider, the arrival of the allied forces and their behaviour on the mainland both good and bad clashed with a lot of the returning defeated infantry man, perhaps he has to learn…
-
on
A grieving mother’s reunion with her family turns into a terrifying escape when her father’s debt launches a police hunt and she must run for the crimes she has committed.
Thank you very much for this feedback! This logline was the result of an attempt to rewrite an incredibly convoluted script with too many characters, I therefore went back, removed all the poetic suggestions and wrote a barebones sentence choosing…
-
on
Stripped of his license a disgraced ER doctor running from his past reinvents himself in Japan only to be lured deep into a community with a violent secret where he must solve an unspeakable crime.
Thank you Richiev, appreciate the advice! Jim in Japan.
-
on
A disgraced ex-cop, offered the chance to regain custody of his son must partner with a soon to retire ex-prosecutor to catch a serial killer before he kills more children, digging for the truth they unearth a hidden layer of personal and professional secrets of those involved from within and outside the law.
I agree it always felt a little convoluted to me, thank you for the advice!
-
on
Coerced into losing, a past his prime boxer desperate to redeem his past must regain his boxing license to compete in a final fight of his life for the last, most precious payday, custody of his kidnapped son.
Thank you for this Benjamin, appreciate the feedback and see very clearly your points, back to the drawing board! Jim in Japan
-
on
A duty-bound family woman, unbearably taunted by her cruel husband and co-conspiring offspring, finds release in the joy of serial killing, until seduced by an unsuspecting victim.
I also find this intriguing, particularly because it is a female lead involved in possible justified deviant behavior. I would omit a few words from this simply because I feel you may be repeating things, that would then give you…
-
on
With the threat with three years in a Japanese prison looming a foreigner races to find the whereabouts of his two children taken from the apartment he shared with his wife.
Thank you very much for the advice, agree completely, will get on it! Jim in Japan.