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An incisive detective imprisons a man who is murdered in prison while innocent, so he resigns out of remorse to free unjustly incarcerated people in defiance of the system he once defended.
Unless this is for a TV show, I would try personalizing the logline. For instance, instead of working to free unjustly incarcerated people, the story should be about a specific incarcerated person, and the stakes should be high. "A detective…
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When the black sleek sports car of a tall dark handsome accountant creates a sensation, he begins to find ways of taking the girl next door on a first date.
This logline is confusing. On first read, my first thought was, how can a sports car take out the girl next door on a date? Is the car like Knight Rider? However, after reading it a couple of times I…
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The richest man in the solar system wants to colonize the stars with his newly invented faster-than-light technology, but every power mad government and greedy corporation will stop at nothing to take it for themselves.
I would take out the word 'struggles.' You might also make this into a David vs Goliath story as well. An Example: ----- "After developing a faster-than-light spaceship, a (broke genius) races against time to find a colonizable world before…
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“A caregivers journal, with accounts of her experience, gets in the hand of a young person revealing many hidden secrets.”
The second attempt at the logline is better. It is written from the perspective of the lead character/couple. You might want to add stakes to your logline, but only if it can be said in a word or two. ---…
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An unemployed man realizes that the reason for divorces is not the relationship between husband and wife but between mother -in – law and daughter – in – law. Sensing this insight as a business model he starts counselling sessions for mother in law and daughter in law and it works for him. He becomes rich and finds love to marry. Everything looks great until he finds the same mother in law and daughter in law issues in his own marriage which he struggles to resolve .
Possible title: Heal Thyself (That comes from the saying, 'Physician Heal Thyself')
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An adopted cat from the farm befriends an abused duck from a neighboring factory farm, risking disappointing her new owners as she desperately tries to prevent the sad fate of her feathered friend.
I can picture this story in my head from the logline.
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Daniel, a young business student, is diagnosed with fatal familial insomnia, an illness that will deny him sleep and will kill him shortly. After that, Daniel breaks with his previous life and begins to try to fulfill his dream of writing and publishing a novel, having to fight against his parents’ reproaches, his creative blocks, a seemingly impossible love that is now blossoming, and his growing dementia. .
"After being diagnosed with chronic insomnia, a young writer quits his day job determined to write the great American novel before his Insomnia and growing dementia destroy his dreams."
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When a nerdy guy, who no one would like to date, is pranked , he creates using AI and robotics the hottest girl ever existed in the universe and programs it to date him , surprising and shocking everyone.
"After being humiliated by the most popular girl in school, a nerdy programmer creates a hot robot girlfriend to prove to his classmates he's got some rizz." ------ Not sure if rizz is the correct word, perhaps the word 'game'…
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The night before her on call shift, Sarah, a nurse working a second job, finds herself in the midst of late night deliveries. As she tries to walk her way back home, after the last delivery of the night, her night leads her all the way to work.
Let me put it this way. A pro-tagonist is pro-active. In your logline and mini-synopsis, things happen to the lead character. What must the lead character do? How do these events cause the protagonist to have a goal? What is…
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The night before her on call shift, Sarah, a nurse working a second job, finds herself in the midst of late night deliveries. As she tries to walk her way back home, after the last delivery of the night, her night leads her all the way to work.
You are describing scenes, not the plot. What is the lead character's goal? What is standing in her way?
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A teenage girl learns she has the ability to visit the physical world in her dreams, and must work with other similar teens to protect this world.
If you can say it in one or two words, you should tell us what is threatening the world so we understand why it is so important for the lead to use her powers. "A schoolgirl with the newfound power…
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A talented Fil-Am restaurateur returns to his country of birth where he is challenged by an unscrupulous boyhood friend, with a promise of co-ownership, to transform his failing Manila restaurant to number one on TripAdvisor.
I really like the idea. You are bringing us into a world. I think that is great. Plus adding the stakes about not being able to return home helps.
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A talented Fil-Am restaurateur returns to his country of birth where he is challenged by an unscrupulous boyhood friend, with a promise of co-ownership, to transform his failing Manila restaurant to number one on TripAdvisor.
The goal of a story doesn't always have to be about saving the world. But the goal should always 'mean the world' to the lead character. I like the elements in your logline but why does making his friend's restaurant…
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The door of the gallery opens wide and the young woman without looking around walks straight into the hall towards the man with a gloomy face. It is not expected, but they meet right here, in one of the most important galleries in the world. Who would have thought about it twenty years ago in a small town train station when they saw each other for the last time.
You are describing a scene. But a logline is a one-sentence synopsis of the plot. A logline will most likely have 1: A Lead character 2: An inciting incident 3: A goal 4: And Conflict (something standing in the way…
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A family member is involved in an accident, but it is covered up. A few years later, the man who now runs an escort club is again involved in a mysterious incident.
I will add this; you should personalize the logline and add a goal, because 'family member' is very vague. "When his 'sister' <-- (Brother, cousins, something specific) is involved in a terrible accident, A club owner 'must discover' <-- (Goal)…
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Spiralling amidst a divorce and losing custody of his daughter, a man takes a dangerous job shutting down an oil refinery with a band of salt-of-the-Earth co-workers.
You should make the goal more clear in the logline. (Not too big of a criticism) Also, the logline itself does not give off an 'Old School vibe. So you might want to add something that implies comedy in the…
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When sharman’s parents died in bringing her to life with superpowers abilities in her, in a world where commoners hope on the safety of their lives to the hero they turned against, sharman must destroy earth in absorbing more sound energy in defeating an alien invader who wants her powers.
Okay, that sounds interesting.
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When the past visits an overmedicated mental patient with a fascinating history, she awakens to unveil her story and upend her life at risk of a relapse. My name is Mary Magdalene.
We have a lead character. Good What is the lead character's goal... Not sure from this logline. What is standing in the way of the lead's goal? These are essential to a logline
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When sharman’s parents died in bringing her to life with superpowers abilities in her, in a world where commoners hope on the safety of their lives to the hero they turned against, sharman must destroy earth in absorbing more sound energy in defeating an alien invader who wants her powers.
So the lead character must destroy the earth in order to protect her own powers?
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After they were executed for their crimes, and instead of waking up in the afterlife, the eight found themselves on a ship that had anchored in the middle of the sea. The ship slipped into a whirlpool that took them to the shore of an island, where they saw horrors.
At this point, you have a premise but not yet a story. (At least by the logline) To turn the premise into a story, you need a lead character, with a goal, and something standing in the way of that…
