When a businessman is injured in a car accident, he embarks on a quest to find the origin of a family heirloom in dangerous Brazilian jungle.

4 reviews

dpg Singularity · 112,231 pts

Hmm. ? The quest in all these iterations seem to be a story in search of a plot, a destination in search of a ?good reason to go.

Whatever the inciting incident is, it should threaten a character vulnerability that in turn threatens the protagonist's ability to achieve his objective goal. ?And I just don't see that linkage in these iterations.

Also, the heirloom needs to be a McGuffin, something everyone is after. ?There needs to be a rival to ratchet up ?the stakes, jeopardy and dramatic tension.

fwiw

Richiev Singularity · 82,714 pts

This attempt is a bit of a step backward. I would drop the accident angle and concentrate on making the inciting incident match the goal.

Fma Samurai · 1,607 pts

HEART OF THE JUNGLE -
After a Machiavellian business tycoon is severly injured in a car accident and his estranged father helps him rehab, he realigns his focus and heads deep into the dangerous jungle of Brazil to find the origin of a family heirloom.