When the most trusting man in America journeys to Nigeria to collect his expected inheritance promised to him in an e-mail by a prince, he must overcome bitter reality and find his prince in order to see the good in people once again.

Is too big a call to label him the most trusting man in America.? How can to substantiate that??

I guess he is over-trusting.? Or naive or gullible.

It seems "journey to Nigeria" and "find his prince" are one in the same, so no need to repeat it.

Why is he "his" prince?? Instead of "a" prince.? Does he own him? ? If you are implying that he needs to find a metaphorical prince (to find "good in people"), it's not clear.

I wouldn't mention "email" - it's too confusing.

Cheers,
hope this is useful :)

Loved this idea it could be very funny!

Loved this idea it could be very funny!

"When a naive and stubborn middle school counselor fall in a "nigerian prince heritage" mail fraud, he travels to nigeria to claim his heritage no matter what".

Have you seen "nebraska"? it's a good movie about an old man who believe a junk mail who says that he won a million dollar and he decide to hit the road to collect his prize. It's the story of his son who can't persuade him of his error and finally decide to accompany him for his safety. I think you can build something with this kind of stubborn obstination. A man always positive, always smilin... I see a Jim Carey who goes to the bank to see why his heritage is not arrived. Again, and again, and he won't believe anyone who tells him his prince doesn't exist. He finally convince himself the prince must be in trouble so he travels to nigeria to find him. I'm honestly interested to see if he finally will find his prince despite all odds. Will the old man win a million? I'm almost crying if I thinks to the end of "nebraska". Maybe the prince he will find is not what he expected but he will have a kind of "prize", some kind of experience or maybe some amount of money, or love. Will he make money about a book with his experience?

Well I definetely love this concept but it must be properly worked in a logline.

Richiev's version, while it encapsulates the concept nicely, also highlights the disjunctive logic that makes the concept a head scratcher.

A logline is a statement of a plot with a cause and effect relationship between the inciting incident and action that follows. So words like "after" and "when" in the inciting incident clause could be replaced by the word "because". So:

Because he?s scammed out of his life savings, a beloved but over-trusting school councilor, travels to Nigeria to prove the Nigerian prince does exist and there?s still honesty in the world.

How logical is that?

What the logline really says is: "IN SPITE OF being scammed out of his life savings..." IN SPITE OF past scams and cons, the school counselor remains an incurable naive fool. So what's the character arc? If he gets the inheritance, then what has he learned, how has he changed? Well, he doesn't have to change, doesn't have to grow as a character to get the inheritance. He just has to persist with his defining character trait -- continue to play the naive fool.

Will it play? Well, didn't it play as a running joke for Inspector Clouseau in the Pink Panther franchise? And isn't the Fool Triumphant a standard and beloved comedy trope?

Maybe it will work again with this story as a mashup: Professor Clouseau meets the Nigerian scam artist. I suggest that the joke is that the counselor is truly being conned again, has fallen hook, line and sinker for a Nigerian scam --but this time, like Clouseau, his folly manages to outwit the cleverness of the scam artist, the "Beautiful Prince".

Good luck and best wishes with your concept.

The good in people is a marketing type statement not a story element. You will demonstrate that in your story, but is not the story.

As comedies go DPG's suggestion has more potential for comedic moments and is far more marketable.

Unless you have a late draft script with a producer attached, why not develop the reverse concept instead?

Otherwise the logline is too wordy, lacks an inciting incident (discovery of the scam maybe?) and has a vague goal.
Why does he travel to Nigeria in the first place? How does he plan on taking his inheritance?

What is it he wants to achieve exactly? How will he know he found "...the good in people..."? What will this look like?

Hope this helps.

"After he's scammed out of his life savings, a beloved but over-trusting school councilor, travels to Nigeria to prove the Nigerian prince does exist and there's still honesty in the world."

That is a funny angle, but I've already developed the premise of a middle school counselor who enrages everyone with his trusting attitude.

Why not flip the premise, make the protagonist a Nigerian, an executor of an estate worth millions, but none of the beneficiaries (in the U.S. or wherever) will claim it -- no one will believe him, they all think it's a scam?