Karel Segers

Mentor · 5,093 points

4,907 points to Overlord

1 logline
179 reviews

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When her raw, tell-all article about her marriage goes viral, a struggling writer must navigate a toxic, public literary feud with her successful husband to finally achieve the fame and recognition she craves.

February 19, 2026

Recent reviews

on A socially deprived, true crime obsessed man becomes infatuated with a Jane Doe case, and documents his pathetic attempt at inserting himself in her story by solving the case. ★ Accepted

A socially deprived, true crime obsessed man becomes infatuated with a Jane Doe case, and documents his pathetic attempt at inserting himself in her story by solving the case. Great main character in that he has both a flaw and…
on Revised: Desperate to prove himself worthy of his civil rights activist wife, whom he crippled in an accident, George obsesses about the JFK promise, turning into a delusional quest to prevent assassination.

Cut the long plot summary. It's barely a summary.
on [EDIT] A sheltered American teen, kidnapped by a Bangkok crime lord, is groomed first as his protégé, then as his bride — but when she discovers he was her late mother’s secret lover, she uses his methods to destroy him and seize his empire.

This version of your logline is stronger, but read the methodology of this site again (the "Formula" section above) and use "When" to open with the major event, to clearly signal the story's structure. While the em dash before "but…
on After stealing millions from a ruthless Las Vegas casino empire, two estranged biracial twin brothers flee back to New York hoping to rebuild their lives, only to discover their parents are dead, their childhood home is gone, and the violent syndicate they betrayed is hunting them through a city that no longer has a place for them.

This is a situation; not a story. You have the first sequence of an 8-sequence feature. How will they cope with the situation? What is/are the goal/s that will drive this film? And how do the twins differ in character?…
on After stealing millions from a ruthless Las Vegas casino empire, two estranged biracial twin brothers flee back to New York hoping to rebuild their lives, only to discover their parents are dead, their childhood home is gone, and the violent syndicate they betrayed is hunting them through a city that no longer has a place for them.

This is a situation; not a story. You have the first sequence of an 8-sequence feature. How will they cope with the situation? What is the goal that will drive this film? And how do the twins differ in character?…
on Logline: After killing each other in a muddy ravine on Guadalcanal, a Japanese soldier and an American Marine awaken as unwillingly tethered ghosts and spend decades protecting the grandson born from their families’ impossible union—bickering across wars, cultures, and generations as they search for redemption and peace. Genre: Primary: Historical Fantasy Drama Secondary: War Drama / Supernatural Family Saga

This is a fresh and highly dramatic premise. Excellent! The two protagonists makes it complex, but not impossible. The structure works: two protagonists, a catalyst, an action, a conflict, a theme. But "unwillingly tethered" is a little clunky as an…
on When the Sheriff of Sweetwater, Mars stumbles on a plan to destroy the town to make room for an illegal worm farm, he and his friends have to defend the town from destruction by a megalomaniac Soybean Magnate.

The structure works: we know who, what's at stake, who's against him, and what he has to do. Where it gets clunky: "destroy" and "destruction" come back three times in close range, and "destruction by a megalomaniac Soybean Magnate" is…
on An American teen is kidnapped by a Bangkok crime lord, who grooms her first as his protégé and then as his bride. But when she discovers he was her late mother’s his secret lover, she uses his methods to destroy him and seize his empire.

The logline runs 54 words across two sentences, which works quite well for the longer-logline shape with a Mid Point Reversal, where "But when" marks the MPR turn. I would even consider rolling it into one sentence. But that's personal…
on What’s wrong with these loglines? I can only view three at a time

For some it's solved by using a different browser. Alternatively, log in and you'll see the full stream.
on A billionaire gathers seven eccentric minds on an island to save democracy… the plan seemed to have limits, until it no longer did.

There's in intriguing hook in there, but I'm missing some critical elements. Check the notes elsewhere on this site to improve your logline: https://staging.loglineit.com/howto
on In a world where mystical creatures harness extraordinary powers, a graceful crane finds herself at the heart of a perilous mystery. When she lays an unusually small egg infused with potent magic, she must uncover its hidden potential to save not only her own life but also the love she shares with a powerful anaconda. Caught between his insatiable hunger and his deep affection for the crane, the anaconda grapples with consuming desires that threaten to unravel their romance and plunge them into darkness.”

It's 84 words, which is excessive, even for Logline It, where we are VERY lenient with word count! Try trimming this down to half, by eliminating non-essential words. "In a world where mystical creatures harness extraordinary powers" is unnecessary as…
on In the depths of the depression, a small time con artist teams up with a seasoned pro to con $500,000 from a ruthless mobster to avenge the mobster’s murder of his mentor.

One of my absolute favourite classics. The 'formula version' would be something like: "When his mentor is murdered by a ruthless mobster in the depths of the depression, a small time con artist must take revenge by teaming up with…
on When a 12 year old girl becomes under protection of a hitmen, she must learn the tools of the trade to avenge her parents assassinated by gangsters.

The killing and her coming under protection of Leon happen so close together in the film that they are almost within the same story beat, so that isn't a huge issue. However, her coming under the protection of Leon doesn't…
on A high school basketball phenom drops out of school and drifts for thirteen years, but his luck is about to change as the road to redemption, love, and a second chance runs right through McCallister Park.

Is he playing basketball at all in those thirteen years -- like grifting and conning Ala?White Men Can't Jump?or playing amateur leagues? Why does he drop out of high school -- what is the inciting incident that causes this? What…
on After a senseless violent act, a quiet man willingly risks losing his home and family relationships for love of his wife and memory of his daughter.

Would he have a number, because the way your logline descries the (somewhat limited) action of the script, it seems like it will end in tragedy. This could be a chance to do an inspiring never-get-me-down type screenplay (think like?Rocky?meets?Pursuit…
on This is an idea I’ve had for a while for a short film: After a depressed alien calls into a radio show and threatens to destroy the city, the host, a suicidal middle aged woman, must talk down the alien and prevent mass destruction.

A quick floating question: why is the host "suicidal", that almost seems like a trope-y trait at this point. How does her being suicidal correlate to the action of the story? Why would she care if the city is destroyed…
on [Not a logline] Does the dark night of the soul occur in act 2, act 3 or in a secret middle place?

It is right before the break into the third act. Here is a good, simple template for where the things you're referring to go in the story structure you're working with (as far as I can tell):?https://goodinaroom.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/Blake-Snyders-Beat-Sheet.pdfI'd suggest reading all…
on after-surviving-a-serial-killer-attack-thanks-to-the-donated-organs-of-three-girls-arata-must-remember-the-identity-of-the-murder-who-attacked-him-while-the-spirits-of-the-girls-of-its-new-organs-fol

Foxtrot25 I would say the original poster is afraid of his idea being stolen, yet still wants to refer back to the feedback so he's edited it. It's happened a few times on here before. People are naturally precious and…
on THOUGHT: What I like about my brief time on this site so far…

I agree with your post, trying to succinctly explain an idea is invaluable in a lot f ways. My problem is, I find myself keeping the word count down by keeping things vague and I'm still trying to become more…
on I have a simple question about one script I’m currently working on: it has 10 short stories all based in Greece in different cities and areas. Maybe you know the movies “New York, I love you” and “Paris, je t’aime”. Basically, it is such a script, but located in Greece. Do you think this type of script is marketable in any way? And should I write one logline for the whole script or 10 different ones for each story? Thank you for your help in advance! Savas

I've tried my hand at this sort of script a couple of times before, and putting it into a simple traditional "logline" is not easy at all. DO a search for "Woodstock" on his site and you'll find my attempts,…