Wayne

835 points

1,665 points to Mentor

16 loglines
38 reviews

Loglines

When he learns that the woman he yearns for has the same destructive personality disorder as his psychologist?s wife, an emotionally-battered man teams with the psychologist, who helps him implement a new and bizarre approach to fixing the on-off relationship.

March 27, 2019
When a depressed maintenance worker discovers that the woman he loves has the same destructive personality disorder as his psychologist?s wife, he befriends the psychologist whose specific advice may help save his failing relationship.

March 18, 2019
An attention seeking YouTube prankster shames and bribes a violent scammer resulting in a battle beyond entertainment.

July 2, 2016
When an attention seeking YouTube prankster is assaulted and left financially debilitated, he uses his pranking skills to blackmail the crazy scammer, but must survive a dark murderous world where responsibility lacks in a similar way to his pranking.

June 21, 2016
When an attention seeking YouTube prankster is scammed, he uses his pranking skills to blackmail a crazy car salesman, but enters a darker world of violence and murder.

June 21, 2016
When an attention seeking YouTube prankster is scammed by a car salesman he enlists the salesman?s captivating assistant to help seek compensation but her unorthodox methods and pranking involvement becomes creepy.

June 14, 2016
When a flippant prankster is ripped off by crazy scammer he seeks compensation but inadvertently starts a relationship with the scammer?s even crazier assistant.

June 5, 2016
When a deaf surfer is clawed by a cat he begins to obsessively stalk the cat?s owner

March 8, 2016
When seven year old Olive needs to get to a far away beauty pageant her family accompanies her on an arduous road trip.

March 2, 2016
When divorced businessman Mr Barton enquires about a hotel?s pay TV service he becomes frustrated by an annoying receptionist with an obsession for popcorn and the Adult Channel.

January 10, 2016
A shy courier is overheard on police phone taps manned by his brother in law when he pursues a romance with the girlfriend of a wanted criminal.

December 1, 2015
When he learns that his partner has a borderline personality disorder a depressed guy uses unconventional methods to fix a relationship disrupted by a cloud of mental illness.

August 21, 2015
When ripped off in a car purchase a reckless guy seeks revenge, but must defend himself, his best friend and an attractive receptionist against a psychopathic car salesman.

August 11, 2015
When a father, just diagnosed with depression, learns that his sweetheart has an even more debilitating mental illness, he must evaluate the relationship and learn the importance of their love.

August 2, 2015
When a shy courier, in a bad marriage, is allured by the friendly wife of a drug criminal, he pursues her help to overcome his social anxiety, despite exposure to his wife's brother by police phone taps.

August 2, 2015
When a girl travelling first class on the ill-fated Titanic voyage, falls in love with a boy in low class, they must battle together to survive prejudice and a sinking ship.

July 26, 2015

Recent reviews

on TITLE: A Psycho In The Cockpit. LOGLINE: A psycho in the cockpit. STORY IS ABOUT: A Psycho in the cockpit.

That's not a logline, it's a TAGLINE, but a good one! :)
on After getting injected with a rage serum, the injected man must use his new found abilities to stop a rich vengeful businessman from flooding the streets with his serum to destroy the city.

Both characters seem pretty angry? a bit same same.? I guess it?s good for a hero to mirror the villain, but I don?t really understand the hero?s motivation.
on Tired of being his 24/7 gopher, a workaholic lawyer gives her playboy boss two weeks notice only to fall in love with him while finding her replacement.

Re the long version: Why would a lawyer care about a community centre?? Doesn?t seem like high stakes. Re the short version:? Is confusing as to WHO will find her replacement.
on When he learns that the woman he yearns for has the same destructive personality disorder as his psychologist?s wife, an emotionally-battered man teams with the psychologist, who helps him implement a new and bizarre approach to fixing the on-off relationship.

A new attempt.? Any more comments greatly appreciated: When he learns that the woman he yearns for has the same destructive personality disorder as his friend?s wife, an emotionally-battered man teams with his friend, who helps him implement a new…
on When a depressed maintenance worker discovers that the woman he loves has the same destructive personality disorder as his psychologist?s wife, he befriends the psychologist whose specific advice may help save his failing relationship.

Thanks for the feedback.? It's much appreciated, as would any more comments on this update: When he learns that the woman he yearns for has the same destructive personality disorder as his psychologist?s wife, an emotionally-battered man teams with the…
on After naively inviting her daughter’s various ‘godfathers’, a mafia overlord must prevent her wedding from becoming a gang war

I like it!? Appears like it would be a script with lots of opportunity for conflict and comedy.? Maybe you could state the overlord's flaw - this might give us more insight into the genre and theme
on When a city council decides to impound all stray animals, a selfish ex-house cat seeks refuge with a family of street cats, but to earn his place, he must learn to put others first and outsmart the Feline Mafia henchman that stands between the street cats and the new home that will save them all.

Sounds like an interesting concept - and an interesting main character - typical of a cat to be selfish! The name "street cats" is a little confusing.? If they are street cats, why do they live in a home? To…
on A racially prejudices cricket fan about to lose the family hotel goes back in time with his prospective Indian son in law and must overcome his prejudices if he is to get back to his own time and save the pub.

"Racially prejudiced"? is the same as "racist", so you could cut out one word there.? And If he's racist, I can't imagine he'd have many viewers on his side.? Maybe his flaw could be about cricket prejudice or hotel prejudice,…
on Selfish athlete learns the importance of humility when he falls for a single mom while rehabbing an injury as his team makes playoff push.

What's the single mom's trait that teaches him humility.? That seems missing in the logline. Also what's a playoff?? Just kidding.? But if you are marketing to chick flick fans or Aussies like me who don't do playoffs, it's a…
on Clumsy kid learns to dance to stand up to bully and impress bully’s ex-girlfriend at school dance.

It would be better if you made it clear WHY he wants to impress the bully's ex girlfriend.
on Based on real events, in 1984, a gay anti-apartheid activist is arrested for high treason; faced with the death penalty; he comes out to his party in prison, lobbying the ANC to amend the Constitution banning discrimination based on sexual orientation.

Looks interesting.? Too many adjectives to describe the activist.
on In the midst of her marriage breaking down, an alcoholic family councilor must keep the balance between her kids and her job despite her emotional upheaval.

It's better than last time.? I think it needs more fine tuning and pinpointing the elements.?? I have trouble doing that myself! Some suggestions: Mention the "emotional upheavel" at start instead of at the end.?? For example: "In the midst…
on A young transgender woman must reconcile with her estranged, conservative, mother in order to carry on her sex reassignment surgery in order to be the woman she was meant to be.

Sex surgery is only part of it.? The main character hopes the mother understands that she is ALREADY a woman (in the wrong body).? She wants her mother to see her as a daughter, regardless. Not that I know -…
on After surviving an attack from a serial killer Laura Silan is thrown in to a world of secrets and mythology and inadvertently starts a war that she must in turn end while learning the secrets of her own power

I don't know who Laura Silan is, so don't mention her name.? Not until she's the next Harry Potter anyway.? :) I'm getting a lot of unanswered who-what-whys.? ? HOW is she thrown into a world of secrets and mythology?…
on An overworked suburban mother and professional hit women, reaches breaking point as she struggles to juggle the work life balance.

Is a little ambiguous whether this is the same person.? Maybe you could do something like -? "An overworked suburban mother who is a part-time hit woman - - " The close proximity of "struggle" and "juggle" is a bit…
on When the most trusting man in America journeys to Nigeria to collect his expected inheritance promised to him in an e-mail by a prince, he must overcome bitter reality and find his prince in order to see the good in people once again.

Is too big a call to label him the most trusting man in America.? How can to substantiate that?? I guess he is over-trusting.? Or naive or gullible.It seems "journey to Nigeria" and "find his prince" are one in the…
on When an amnesiac civilian is framed for massacring cops in a drug bust, he runs from bloodthirsty DEA agents to investigate his past and clear his name.

It's a little confusing -? why does he have to investigate his past?? How would this help clear his name?
on A post apocalyptic space ship carrying the rich and famous is overthrown by the slaves that run it, as they discover their manual skills are the new worlds currency, deeming fame and fortunes irrelevant.

That's an interesting concept.? Is a little hard to get my head around how manual skills can be a currency. This seems pretty important to the movie, so I hope you have a clear idea about it. Would be good…
on A family counselor must conceal her alcoholic secret from her friends and clients over her marriage turning soar.

Looks like an interesting drama. ?? Do you mean "sour"?? I'd mention the marriage first - keep it chronological.? Then mention the alcohol concealment, but also tell us why she must hide it.? I'm guessing it's for professional reasons since…
on When an attention seeking YouTube prankster is scammed by a car salesman he enlists the salesman?s captivating assistant to help seek compensation but her unorthodox methods and pranking involvement becomes creepy.

Thanks Nir,? I see what you mean!? Below is another draft.?? I could cut off the end about the "assistant", but she is a big part of the story (an ally shapeshifting to villain): When an attention seeking YouTube prankster…