After a empath singer offers to be a surrogate to her long time best friend, who struggles to conceive. She must overcome her guilt when she is told she could not conceive a child of her own due to her actions, and find the ability to accept her boyfriend’s desire to marry her, or lose him forever.

Keymiser:

Transgender must be in the logline.? Must, MUST, MUST.? It's your differentiating story hook.

And I suggest using the more common term "empathetic" in the logline.? Spell it out.

That said, in the script,? definitely develop how her intense awareness of others' feeling plays out as both a character strength and a character weakness.? For example, a critic of her decision, someone who knows her all too well (like her mother) could point out she's always been an easy mark, a sucker for a hard luck story.

And she will also be acutely aware of the negative feelings of her boyfriend.? So emotionally she's caught in a cross-fire, trapped between the horns of a dilemma, damned if she does,? damned if she doesn't.

Whatever.? My takeaway is that I sense there's dramatic gold to? be mined in her intense empathy.? (Are you aware of the Myers-Briggs typology? Your character would score at the far end of the feeling spectrum).

Best wishes with your project.

>>>Honestly, I wanted to tackle the relationship more between the protagonist and her boyfriend,

Okay.? I like that.? Now tighten up the logline, focus on the conflict it creates in their relationship.

But I suggest there needs to be some clarification.? By surrogate, do you mean she carries the fertilized egg of her friend's significant other (or sperm donor). Or....?

And the decision can't be impulsive, on the spot and then smash cut-- she's in surrogate mode.? It will cost mucho dinero.? Who's paying.? The whole arrangement will need to be vetted through a lawyer.? Just in case either party gets cold feet.

Also, any candidate for surrogacy has to go through a thorough medical checkup.? Also undergo psychological counseling to ensure that's she's emotionally stable and has considered the immediate and long term consequences.? Like how her boyfriend feels about it.

IOW: the conflict in their relationship would begin an escalate before she even becomes a surrogate.

Hmm.? Maybe the romantic complications could ensue when she becomes romantically involved after becoming a surrogate.? In the first trimester, while most guys are clueless.

Whatever, I agree with you that the relationship angle has more dramatic potential.

fwiw

In many ways, a story is: a problem, a struggle, then problem solved.

The lead character can't have children (Problem) So the lead becomes a surrogate for her friend... (Problem solved)

If this is correct, where is the struggle?

Honestly, I wanted to tackle the relationship more between the protagonist and her boyfriend, how this obstacle breaks them apart due to her insecurities when the man she with desperately wants to marry her and be a father and come to find out because of what she did it won't happen...she fear of losing him, and regretting it etc. I dunno, this was intended to be more of a series rather a movie so I guess thats why I had added that sub plot in there...with the boyfriend, since it was gone a 2 season storyline I had in mind. ?And the guy questions his feelings for her, when he takes her distance and objections to heart as she afraid to let him in due to her actions, and like at the end she realizes ?this setback just make her stronger, and accept that even if she can't get a child of her own, her significant other will still be there for her. ?Something like that at least...

So, loglines for series however should be the same as a solid movie logline?

At 57 words this is too long.

You've got two story strands here. Which forms the core of the plot? The issues with surrogacy and conception? Or the boyfriend stuff?

"Overcome her guilt" - this is more of an internal goal. What's the objective goal? Think visually. What does someone overcoming their guilt look like on screen?

Why is she a singer? What bearing does that have on the story? Nothing is accidental in a screenplay. Consider The Matrix. Neo was a computer programmer for a big company by day, and a hack by night. Corporate slave to the machines by day... rising up against the establishment by night... not a coincidence that he's the One. If you give a character a profession, it must hold some bearing on the story. She could still be a singer, BUT for the purposes of a logline, if it doesn't make any difference what her job is, maybe choose another description.

Scrapping the boyfriend bit as it feels like the B-story, I think this is kinda just one long inciting incident:

After offering to be a surrogate for her best friend only to discover her misspent youth has left her unable to conceive,?

Then tell us what she MUST do about it.