Keymiser

Recent reviews

• on After signing a deal with the devil, A young egotistical successful musician must get out of his leech music executive’s contract in order to be with the love of his life, and gain back his freedom.

  Dude I just looked that film up, and its crazy I never heard or seen of that before, and strange as it is the summary is almost exactly what I came up with...for my idea lol and I didn't even…

• on  A Self centered rising young artist must put aside his ego when he is forced to compete against his on and off girlfriend, for a record deal with a famous rapper’s upcoming label.

  Anti-hero? I was actually going for something like that for the girlfriend as she is considered the antagonist in my story indeed. Your logline is well put I like the idea you gave me to really think about thank you…

• on  A Self centered rising young artist must put aside his ego when he is forced to compete against his on and off girlfriend, for a record deal with a famous rapper’s upcoming label.

  Thank you for your breakdown and questions. Yes the girlfriend is the villain, she is very much love challenging my main character and she get bent on the fact her boyfriend is also competing believing that he's only in it…

• on When a self-centered young talented musician lusting for the lifestyle of a rockstar, scores him and his band of brothers a chance to be signed and mentored by one of the music industry’s big time acts, he must wrestle with the rewards and pitfalls of stardom in the music industry as an artist and become a better man to those around him.

  Thank you so much okay, I will try that! I have a bad habit being too specific lol I was following one of the guides examples provided on here to make this and I think I overdid it.

• on When a star studded, self-centered young talented musician lusting for the lifestyle of a rockstar, scores him and his band of brothers a chance to be signed and mentored by one of the music industry’s big time acts, he must wrestle with the rewards and pitfalls of stardom, love, and loyalty in the music industry in order to maintain his integrity as an artist and become a better man to those around him.

  Thank you for the comment review foremost! And see that’s what I’m struggling with identifying because how I perceive it the music industry is the antagonist because a lot goes on in Hollywood and the music industry when young stars…

• on An old and worthless dog must find a forever home before it’s too late.

  Not enough information, You need to establish in the logline what make us care about this worthless dog. What is at stake if the dog doesn't find him a home in time? the consequences of him or obstacles not getting…

• on After a heated fallout with her former band mate, a determined singer signs a deal with a ruthless CEO unknowingly in the gangster lifestyle, who fills her head with promises and solo stardom, as she forms a greed dictated rivalry with her formal partner that culminates to tragedy.

  Feels too long and clustered.

• on A young graduate, struggling to have a career as a photo-journalist but stuck without job prospects receives a call from a mysterious hacker organisation that wants to recruit him as their man in the field. He works for them while he tries to figure out what their ultimate goal is and confronts his opposing family.

  I think the logline is a bit flustered and uses more words than needed that can be broke down shorter!! ?When A struggling graduate wanting to be a photo journalist receives a call from a mysterious hacker, he must do…

• on After a empath singer offers to be a surrogate to her long time best friend, who struggles to conceive. She must overcome her guilt when she is told she could not conceive a child of her own due to her actions, and find the ability to accept her boyfriend’s desire to marry her, or lose him forever.

  Honestly, I wanted to tackle the relationship more between the protagonist and her boyfriend, how this obstacle breaks them apart due to her insecurities when the man she with desperately wants to marry her and be a father and come…

• on After being diagnosed with an terminal illness, a radio host take down drug lords in order to pay for her cancer treatment.

  I don't know, am not a fan of the fact she go and do a drug deal when she has terminal illness, there's no character growth present, and definitely not established in the logline. I'd think she'd do something more…

• on After the climate change destroyed the balance between the real and fantastic world in Kamakura, a young woman whit magical Powers decides to contact two documentary filmakers to help her investigaste the supernatural events that happen in the city.

  interesting concept, that I personally like. However, is this woman a superhero? or magician just a little more descriptive about her will help, but what are the stakes if this like what happens if all seem to go wrong? Just…

• on A woman from the Rust Belt strives for fame and glory by entering the Chicago marathon, but after she unexpectedly gets pregnant is faced with a tragic decision.

  Its never a good idea to guess what your main protagonist is, a better description of her.   I'm assuming that she must be a runner, thats fine but is she a rookie runner? or a professional runner? amateur? ,…

• on When Private Investigator Kris Kringle wakes with amnesia, he must use five clues found on his person to retrace his steps, remember his past and save a missing child.

  Never use a characters name in a logline, give a description of who he is rather instead, and describe the characteristics that assembles him starting out as a weak character, and ending with a change of heart that possibly makes…