'Inspired by true events; When an underprivileged Pakistani boy is murdered by his richer and more influential counterpart, A rookie lawyer (his best friend) sets on a journey to seek justice against a boy seemingly above the law. As his efforts continue to fail, he must ask himself; is it justice he seeks or revenge?'

Ehsas(Social Justice)

12 reviews

dpg Singularity · 112,231 pts

Here is my way of looking at it at the story as described:

The purpose of the logline is to describe the ONE primary action of the story toward ONE objective goal. The action of this story is the struggle toward the objective goal of bringing the guilty to justice. Embedded in the action is a moral premise in the form of a thesis (positive value and corresponding action) and an antithesis (negative value and corresponding action).

The thesis (positive valence) of the moral premise is worked out in the 2nd act by the action to get justice in a corrupt system. That action ends in failure.

Now, the protagonist pursues the SAME objective goal by the antithesis of the moral premise: he takes matters into his own hands. Call it revenge, but revenge is personal justice, street justice -- it is still the pursuit of justice.

So what you have is a story that explores the two aspects of one moral premise, two strategies toward one principle objective goal: bring the guilty to justice.

fwiw.

shayanmahmud 0 pts

Yeah, that makes sense. Thanks for your help. Any other suggestions guys? The advice is really helping.

Richiev Singularity · 82,714 pts

It is possible to pursue both themes and if that's the story you wish to tell then that's the story you should tell.

However in the logline, if the main story is pursuit of justice and "seeks revenge" is only in the third act. I would leave the "Seeks revenge" angle out of the logline.
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"After his best friend is murdered, a young Pakistani lawyer seeks justice against the powerful and influential killer who's seemingly above the law."

Hope that helped, good luck with this!

shayanmahmud 0 pts

I feel the story is primarily about the pursuit of justice and his failure to do so at every turn which eventually leads him to take matters into his own hands. With that in mind, Is it possible to explore both themes? the inciting incident or the end of the 1st act being his murder, the end of the 2nd being the failure of the courts and the 3rd when he takes matters into his own hands? It explores different underlying themes this way including the difference between justice and revenge/ The legal framework of Pakistan/ Women's rights( The man was murdered defending his sister who was being teased by the influential man). What do you guys think? Do you think all this could be encapsulated in one film?

NewGrimmCity 0 pts

I don't think the "his best friend" parenthetical is needed.

Tony Edward Samurai · 1,450 pts

...or more plainly, if there is subtext in the logline, there will most likely be subtext in the script ...showing this ability, I would think, increases the trust a potential buyer of your film has in you, and the more trust they have in you the more likely they'd be to want to read your script.