B Movie monsters escape the screen to terrorize a trio of savvy horror movie fans.

When B Movie monsters decide to escape the screen to terrorize them, a trio of savvy horror movie fans must urgently reconsider their judgments.

Hi Adam,

I also like your logline .
According to whom your heros are, it could also be something like:

"A trio of savvy horror movie fans are forced to reconsider their judgments when B Movie monsters decide to escape the screen to terrorize them..."

I'd say "Scream with monsters" is a pretty accurate description too. Definitely want to keep it light hearted, but with heavy gore and scares (think "Shawn Of The Dead"). Honestly, I think the "how" doesn't matter, and may even make that part of the joke.

I love the original logline - sounds like a fun movie I'd like to watch. I know it breaks a few "rules" like not indicating the lead characters but it definitely makes me want to read the script, which is the point, right? The suggested changes aren't nearly as fun or compelling. I think what makes the original work is the choice of words and tone. "B-move monsters" and "savvy horror movie fans" say fun and scary to me - kind of like Scream, but with monsters. Am I reading that correctly? I can "see" the movie. And I actually don't care how they're unleashed, I'll wait for the movie. I'd be wary of making it more complicated because it will become less punchy and fun.

I agree with Valenin about having a larger goal and a smaller, more personal goal (get the terrorist/reconcile with wife) but those are themes that could be outlined in a pitch. Just my two cents - if the goal is to get the script read, then I think the original accomplishes that mission.

Awesome point of vue Valentin!

Good points, Valentin.

I am going against the grain, but instead of bigger stakes use smaller but more personal stakes. Or at least make his motivation really small like saving his girlfriend, his mom or his brother rather than save the world.
I am getting fed up with Hollywood with incessant race to big things up. A hero must now be a super hero. In the 80s-90s the worst a villain could do was destroy a city, now he/she has to destroy the world. That may work for blockbusters in which bigger explosions are fun, but most of them leave me cold on an emotional level. Every h?ros is now a superhero who save earth, the world, the entire dimension from total annihilation. I would rather have somebody who would save the person he/she loves.
I have noticed that the films that have been very successful without the budget of a small nation are films where the stakes are smaller but the emotional involvement much greater.
In horror "Shaun of dead" the hero is trying to save his mates not the world.
In action, "Haywire", the trilogy of Jason Bourne was about one person and his revenge. "Die Hard" is about about John McClane trying to save his wife Holly, the other hostages are just extra padding. When the baddie kills an hostage, it is used to show us what could happen to Holly. Nobody really care about the other hostages who except for one or two remain entirely non-descriptive. In the Spider-Man, Spider may try to save New-York, but when the ante were upped, Marie-Jane was used. Not a faceless hostage. "Taken", "Taken 2", the transporter franchise were all about one hero saving one or two stake characters. Small number but very close to him. Losing them would destroy him.
You could even use that dichotomy as a running joke in your movie. The villains keeps threatening to destroy the entire Los Angeles area, but the hero is only interested in saving just his block/neighbourhood.
Show me a character willing to sacrifice himself for somebody he/she loves and I see a hero. Show me a superhero with nothing to lose and I see an artificial bore that needs humour or sidekick characters to make it work.

B Movie monsters escape the screen to terrorize a trio of savvy horror movie fans.

I get the concept, but what is the event that causes the monsters to escape, who is the main character we're following, and what are they going to have to do to stop these monsters ... also, is the threat only to the three heroes, or is the threat to the greater Los Angeles (I'm assuming) area? Bigger stakes are better.

Last Action Hero definitely made an impact on me, as did The Monster Squad.