Valentin

2,423 points

77 points to Mentor

7 loglines
239 reviews

Loglines

When her pleas for help are dismissed by her British Intelligence handler, a former black ops soldier must chase alone across London the cunning foreign operative who kidnapped her delinquent kid brother.

August 8, 2014
Tasked to bring a little girl to a slaughter house, an android who wants to be more human must decide between following his orders and deny himself emotions or experience emotions and kill his masters who are organising a genocide.

March 10, 2014
When trying to reconnect with his estranged father, the illegitimate son of a Russian Mafiosi learns that his unrepentant father ordered the hit that killed his mother. Unable to get justice by legal means, he build his own criminal empire to destroy his father.

February 20, 2014
When the best players of a intergalactic war computer game are hunted down by an alien bounty hunter, the survivors must band together to fight both on earth and in the game to win a very real space war. Tag Line: a war simulation so good, it's real…

February 17, 2014
An amnesic secret service agent of Arab origin must recover his memory to clear his name and stop his terrorist brother from detonating a dirty bomb on US soil.

February 16, 2014
After being rejected by his Italo-American mafioso father, a mixed race lawyer decides to exact revenge by building his own criminal empire and destroying his father's.

January 26, 2014
When a volcanic eruption grounds all flights, a desperate racing driver must evade highway patrolmen to transport his dying fianc? heart transplant.

January 26, 2014

Recent reviews

on Through interference with dimensional aliens, several lost Roman legions is transported to a brutal world of magics, monsters, and hellish creatures and must fight to reshape the world in the name of Caesar and Rome.

I like the original concept of a Roman legion being zapped onto an alien world, however the logline is too jumbled to really convey the idea. One big thing missing from your logline is their goal, is it just survival,…
on Set in the near future: When his neighbourhood is raided by a violent vigilante squad, a gang-member must venture through enemy territory to get his 5 year old daughter to sanctuary before they are killed.

When his sanctuary compound is raided, a reformed gunslinger embarks on a journey to rescue his five years old daughter from slave merchants.
on Good logline?

Like suggested before, please?Follow the link Our Formula on the top of the page that will guide you on the expected format of a logline. What you describe is not a logline, but a situation or a resume of the…
on When a smash repair shop explodes, a declining Barrister must infringe his professional code by encouraging his son to restore justice by convincing a Court to set aside his own client?s acquittal.

I would throw a twist. Make the son the protagonist and a cop/FBI agent/prosecutor. ?Put him in the situation where he had to decide whether to use information revealed to him by the father during one of his alzheimer episodes.…
on Edit2 – When a man inherits his father?s fortune he is shot while he sleeps, he wakes to his final day on earth rewinding around him and must figure out who shot him before he bleeds to death.

I agree with Paul except with having to know why he gets a second chance. In?Groundhog Day, we never learns why he was giving a second chance and nor does the audience cares. What is important is what he does…
on When a botched scientific experiment enables her to read minds, a reserved psychology student realises the intrusive burden of her ability and must discover how to reverse her gift to restore her normal life.

Sounds like a female version of Mel Gibson's character in?What Women Want. Is it intended as a comedy, drama, coming of age, medical thriller or pure SF? A better logline description of the experiment would be that it had unintended/unexpected…
on When the prison transfer bus crashes in a remote mountain forest, a rookie officer must use her training to tame the violent inmates as well as survive against dangerous wildlife and a harsh blizzard while they await rescue.

Yes, under normal circumstances the procedure is to hanker down, but there may be exceptional circumstances. prison may have been due to close down and evacuation was planned before. Maybe the storm has changed direction. ?Prison may have lost power…
on When the prison transfer bus crashes in a remote mountain forest, a rookie officer must use her training to tame the violent inmates as well as survive against dangerous wildlife and a harsh blizzard while they await rescue.

I kind of agree that you are really throwing the kitchen sink and then some to the poor woman. However I like the concept even if it sound so over the top. It reminds me of the movie? The Grey.…
on When a SS General’s daughter falls in love with a Jewish boy in a concentration camp, they must stand out together to get back his family and help the Jews escape from the Germans.

Why not go full throttle and switch from daughter to wife. Because of Who she was married to, she can manipulate the soldier within the camp.When the unhappy wife of the warden of a SS Concentration camp recognises one of…
on When a Barrister with early onset Alzheimers obtains a mysterious brief, he must break his professional code to restore justice by convincing a Court to set aside his own client?s acquittal.

When the guilty terrorist he helped getting acquitted starts a new campaign of terror, a lawyer with early onset of Alzeihmer must break professional code to help his prosecutor son convicts his client.
on In the aftermath of a close friend’s suicide, five U.S. Navy sailors conspire to rob a local loan shark who they believe was responsible for his death.

When his best friend suicide leaves his family destitute, an angry navy seals recruits his squad to pull off the heist of the loan shark who drove him to despair to pay for his friend's children college education. I like…
on A drifter finds some stability in his life when he is granted a job as a bartender for Tokyo’s premiere hotel, the Tengen. When a childhood friend is murdered within the alleys of the hotel, the drifter learns that the glitz and glamor of the Tengen is a front for a prominent yakuza organization. Now entwined in the conspiracy, he finds his delicate existence threatened as he is unceremoniously thrust into the criminal underworld of Tokyo.

After witnessing her best friend getting murdered, the son of a reformed Yakuza must confront the deadly organisation trying to take over his neighbourhood. I like the idea that he knows some of the mechanics of the underworld because of…
on When a dangerous CME is earthbound, and a satellite reflector won’t work, NASA, learning they have four days till impact, release a female hacker from prison, to find the problem and save the planet.

When. plasma ejected by the sun toward Earth threaten an Extinction Level Event, a young imprisoned hacker is tasked by NASA to fix the satellite reflector that her late father created.I have added the fact that the satellite reflector had…
on Logline problems

Is it some kind of reverse of The Notebook? I like the idea, but you need to flesh out the concept more. If he is an amnesiac or suffer from Alzheimer's, should he really live on his own? Maybe having…
on After a new energy source is used to power an entire city, a young cleaning lady is called to protect the city from supernatural threats called Jinn that are attracted to the energy source. The Jinn take over human bodies and give their hosts supernatural powers.

When a new power source allows djinn to take over the body of defenceless humans, a meek cleaning lady the last descendant of supernatural warriors must fight to save her city.
on After being invited to a father daughter picnic by a Dean of a prestigious University, a sleazy community college professor extorts a struggling older student to impersonate a Dr. so he can reconnect with his estranged daughter by convincing her that he has cancer.

I like the new romantic comedy concept. It also has space for all characters to grow. The father to suddenly realise that there is more to life than academic stardom and starts behaving in a father way rather than selfishly.…
on After being invited to a father daughter picnic by a Dean of a prestigious University, a sleazy community college professor extorts a struggling older student to impersonate a Dr. so he can reconnect with his estranged daughter by convincing her that he has cancer.

Seems eerily similar with the Leviathan's logline and suffers from the same issue: it does not appear to make sense. if we keep the same a concept: a seemingly ordinary worker is taken by the father/godfather to protect an unsuspected…
on After being given a job at a underworld casino as a bartender, his first assignment is to protect the owner?s goddaughter from an Russian sniper hellbent on getting her back.

As stated by previous reviewers, the logline does not make sense. Even the antagonist's goal is fuzzy: a Russian sniper wants to get back together. You, use John Wick as an example of a franchise movie starting mid way through.…
on After she’s dumped in a nursing-home because her family can’t afford her care, a meek grandmother and a motley-crew of exploited residents attempt to steal back enough money from the corrupt facility owners to return home.

Why would the crew assemble in order to go home, when clearly they are enjoying each other company. It make more sense to have them fight to keep their retirement home open. For example, the corrupt new owners maybe trying…
on Adar, an alien assassin, transports to Earth seeking three killers with chameleon abilities who escaped his ship. Adar must find his prey quickly before many of Earth?s inhabitants are slaughtered or live with dishonor.

That concept remind me of a science-fiction book Stinger?https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/36687393-stinger I also remember another book where Earth is at the receiving end of the prime directive. The twist is that if the existence of alien is revealed to an unprepared/non-space travelling…