A total loser works for a ruthless Vegas casino boss to jinx gamblers. But after he falls in love with a cocktail waitress, gamblers become winners instead. Now he must save his Lady Luck from the boss’s murderous wrath.
(39 words)
The Cooler
(2003)
Where screenwriters learn the form and logline their screen ideas.
(39 words)
The Cooler
(2003)
I think your version is pretty good. One sentence makes it clunky; this is as far as I could get-
When love debuffs his jinx, a hapless employee must save his lady from the ruthless casino boss
A favorite film, but a challenging one to logline.
I elected to break it up into 3 sentences because one l-o-n-g sentence is cumbersome, too hard to read.
Setup, hook: A total loser works for a ruthless Vegas casino boss to jinx gamblers.
Inciting incident, plot twist/reversal of fortune: But after he falls in love with a cocktail waitress, gamblers become winners instead.
Objective goal and stakes: Now he must save his Lady Luck from the boss's murderous wrath.