Rutger Oosterhoff

Logliner · 930 points

1,570 points to Mentor

30 loglines
225 reviews

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Logliner

Loglines

Three characters, three life stories, integrate as a schizophrenic detective puts together puzzle-pieces in a quest to imprison a split-serial killer posing as Hollywood’s Messiah. — WHOLE

March 31, 2021
TRIANGLE DANGEREUX — After a French female painter uses a time portal to successfully sell her cubist self portret at the Salon des Refus?s,1886, she convinces a rejected Van Gogh she’ll be his muze if he kills her made rich – double crossing – artdealing twin sister.

November 9, 2018
To stop the bloody war between the two Five Points gangs, gangleader Paul Kelly must defeat his rival Monk Eastman in a boxing match, with the winner?s gang taking the disputed territory.

November 1, 2018
When her father is captured by the greedy owner of an underground casino, an unorthodox cat burglar must convince her professional poker player sister to join forces to take down the bad guy and rescue their father. — All IN

June 24, 2018
When Prins Willem-Alexander wants to take the throne during a zombie outbreak on Queensday, his resourceful wife must lead the royal party strait through Amsterdam to the Palace on the Dam for his coronation; gracefuly end the ceremony with the balcony scene and leave by helicopter.

February 21, 2018
After looking in a bewitched mirror, a schizofrenic superhero suffering from anterograde amnesia must defeat her super vilan alterego in ten nightmares in order to not wake up as evil reincarnated.

January 12, 2018
A religious psychopath working as a TV medium gets conflicted when a dead cardinal begs him to spare his bastard daughter, the psychopaths’ female co-worker.

October 2, 2017
“Hollywood meets Bollywood when a manic-depressive woman on the brink of a psychosis checks herself into the open section of an Indian lunatic asylum to find inspiration to make – with the help of her international therapy group – a Bollywood musical. But her frustrated shrink – ones a Bollywood star – is on to her.” TV series.

April 4, 2017
ANALYZE FISH-A greedy shrink Dolphin tries to let a depressed Shark crime boss commit suicide and blame a rival crime family.

February 29, 2016
When the daughter of a corrupt Mexican police chef of Iguala is kidnapped, he goes om a murderous rampage while unwillingly helped by a masked female vigilante who brutally revenges the endless killings of Mexican favela girls.

October 25, 2015
When a lab experiment goes horribly wrong, a clumsy scientist and his two pretty female assistants become the first highly intelligent zombies. Not willing to share their newly found powers with the knowledge hungry human elite that forcefully tries to get bitten, they barricade themselves in their research facility trying to find a cure for their own uncontrollable hunger and bad looks, before turning on themselves. But cure or no cure ? they still have to find a way out!

October 16, 2015
"A CIA agent pulled out of retirement is tasked with [Stakes: capturing a terrorist in Palestine] which is his [antag: estranged daughter]. Will he follow his heart or serve his country?"

August 6, 2015
After an undercover hammerhead shark agent and his white shark crime boss bump their heads against a Japanese wale ship, the hammerhead thinks he?s a dolphin and starts giving dolphin therapy to his traumatised boss, who ? after witnessing the whale slaughter ? doesn?t want to kill big fish anymore.

May 24, 2015
A lonely middle aged autistic man's painful journey to spread wings and not slip into a made up fantasy world – after beloved parents violently die in a car accident of his doing.

May 24, 2015
When a depressed hammerhead shark befriends a therapeutic dolphin, his incompetant shrink – a wite shark – wants to violently stop the healing process.

May 23, 2015
When Santa Claus wants to quit work after Saint Nicholas kidnaps his inner child, Santa?s abandend- homeless nine year old daughter must team up with the soulless president of a big European toy company to save the spirit of Christmas.

May 16, 2015
In a futuristic society where the new government forbids humor, a brilliant stand-up comedian and his group of clumsy clowns must overthrow the iron rulers and bring back laughter before the Thought Police humor washes the population.

May 11, 2015
When in the year 2030 IS takes over the world, the Pope escapes justice by going back in time with a hit list that can prevent all future holy wars.

April 25, 2015
?After being tricked into an symbiotic relationship with a brilliant but evil alien wanting to take over Earth, a clumsy neurosurgeon must quickly choose between operating himself or be operated by the perverted exercise of power.

April 10, 2015
Me, Myself & Irene meets Death Defying Acts – "When two young illusionists with multiple personality disorder start dating, they must figure out ?who? will date ?whom’; so their love lives will not self-destruct."

April 4, 2015

Recent reviews

on Reincarnated as a baby who kept his memory into the world of sword and magic, former shut-in mid age scientist sets on a mission to live a meaningful life, only to find out that his former boss who caused the accident and killed them both has been reincarnated aswell and is set on repeating the planet threatening experiment again. (Epic fantasy book novel)

Trying to shorten it futher. “After his boss kills them both, a former shut-in scientist reincarnated with his memories in a sword and magic world, must stop his menace finding a way to repeat the deadly experiment that could destroy…
on An ex-gambler wrestling with addiction, is forced to win back her daughter by playing her abusive mother in law in a winner take all game of poker.

I absolutelyy love this logline/story. If you can make the logline even better, great!!
on A dog makes his way back home to his owner after they’re separated in a bombing during the Korean War.

Make it against all ods. Maybe. "After being separated in a bombing during the Korean War, an injured Chihuahua -- through inhospitable mountains -- makes his way back home to his owner." But not sure the sentence construction works.
on During the Holocaust, a 10 year old german girl must convince everyone she know's that the Romani gypsy girl she is hidding is just an imaginary friend.

I think this could be a great story. And your logline isn't bad either.Although the pros here could probably make it better. Best, Rutger
on A young lawyer discovers through the diary of one of his ancestors that his family has served an ancient vampire for generations, so he must decide between succumbing to power and greed or doing the right thing and losing everything.

"...helping him turn an entire nation into his hunting ground.." makes the antagonist oiut of him.
on After losing the love of his life in the streets of India, a homeless teenager participates in the TV show? Who wants to be a millionaire to find her again. Film: Slumdog Millionaire (2008) (30 words)

After losing the love of his life in the street of India, a homeless teenager playing all or nothing for the jackpot in ^Who wants to be a millionare?" is just one phonecall away from finding her.
on A matriarchal media company CEO summons a troubled male escort to her plush New York apartment for the afternoon, beginning a cat and mouse game of deception with an alarming secret beneath

You should uncover in a subtle way what the cat and mouse game is all about." beginning a cat and mouse game of deception with an alarming secret beneath", tells me nothing. I guess the question is "what is the…
on Three characters, three life stories, integrate as a schizophrenic detective puts together puzzle-pieces in a quest to imprison a split-serial killer posing as Hollywood’s Messiah. — WHOLE

I was going for both. See my original logline we are discussing here. I did some extra research. You can't be Schiz.and MPD (these days called DID) at the same time . It is one or the other The main…
on A closed-off artist tries to leave her old life behind without attachments, when an anonymous one-night stand goes hilariously wrong and the protective wall around the painful memory, isolating her, begins to crack.

Ok, I get it this is what we call a Tragicomedy. When the one-night stand of a formerly abused artist goes hilariously wrong, she decides to front-on face her fears by doing stand-up comedy.
on Amid an increasingly deprived and poverty stricken human society, a group of young cows herd together to take down the UK government whose constant bickering and failed policies are corrupting their land and threatening their families lives.

What precise incident triggers them to take action?
on A trio of mercenaries with the aid of a former spy investigate a cabal intent on global technocracy while trying to rescue her best friend from the clutches of a psychotic scientist.

Try to get the inciting incident up front and make clear what the stakes are.
on In the final chapter of the trilogy, the Rhodium Golems and the 5 Elements must stand together in order to thwart Sorina Manescu’s plans to resurrect Project Athena and rule the world with an invisible hand.

Shorten your logline by focussing on the basic theme.
on KUALA LUMPUR 1940 THE MOROCCO OF SOUTH EAST ASIA WHERE SPIES FROM BRITAIN, AUSTRALIA, JAPAN AND CHINA CONGREGATE AND PLAY DEADLY GAMES. A MALAY PRINCE WHO JUST RETURNED FROM BRITAIN TAKES ON A BORING JOB AS A SENIOR GOVERNMENT CIVIL SERVANT BUT FANCIES HIMSELF A SLEUTH AND IT JUST SO HAPPENED THAT A BRITISH DIPLOMAT WAS FOUND MURDERED IN A BORDELLO.

Try to write in lowercase letters and focus on shortening your logline by focussing on the basic theme.
on A young ex-offender wearing a GPS ankle monitor finds himself on the run from the criminal gang he betrayed and must make it home across the city before his 10pm curfew or risk being recalled to prison.

Your logline is crisp Odie. But now it misses the 'Irony of conflict' element of having to fight on two fronts; fighting (1)the criminals and (2)his curfew.
on Three characters, three life stories, integrate as a schizophrenic detective puts together puzzle-pieces in a quest to imprison a split-serial killer posing as Hollywood’s Messiah. — WHOLE

Very good question Jessie. First I thought MPD (split) is you ARE people, and you see people. Then I read a wiki page that said S=MPD, but people link Story hearing voice and literally seing people. Still confuced. Going to…
on A young woman successfully flees from her stalker ex-boyfriend but, after he kills himself and leaves her his sizable estate, she must decide whether to take the money and risk the wrath of the man’s surviving family, who believe the money is rightfully theirs.

A young woman successfully flees from her stalker ex-boyfriend but, after he kills himself and leaves her his sizable estate, she must decide whether to seek shelter and risk his familie's wrath , or be(come) homeles for the third time.…
on A wealthy businessman who leads a double life manages to accept his homosexuality only after discovering that his son is struggling with the same conflict.

A wealthy businessman who leads a double life manages to accept his homosexuality only after discovering that his son is struggling with the same conflict. Protag: wealthy businessman Antag: businessman’s ‘shame’ of who he is Conflict: his ‘struggle with who’…
on A filmmaker struggles to hire an aging porn actress to star in his next pornographic sci-fi movie.

Why does he kidnap her? Why not simply hire her? Why does he want to make porn? Easy money? And don't forget the Inciting incident and where your story takes place; Amerika, Europe, Tajikistan...
on A filmmaker struggles to hire an aging porn actress to star in his next pornographic sci-fi movie.

Never new that was the real reason Choi Eun-Hee was obducted for the greater glory of North Korea. Has potential!. Although a sortlike comedy came ourmt not to long ago
on Three characters, three life stories, integrate as a schizophrenic detective puts together puzzle-pieces in a quest to imprison a split-serial killer posing as Hollywood’s Messiah. — WHOLE

Jackpot!! Harmonious perfection. I know I pushed it guys. That's because I think we have something here. Most of my logline ideas are crap. But one in ten has potential. Worth to work out. And by working it out, you…