When her father is captured by the greedy owner of an underground casino, an unorthodox cat burglar must convince her professional poker player sister to join forces to take down the bad guy and rescue their father. — All IN

by Rutger Oosterhoff Samurai · 930 pts 1,036 views

12 reviews

dpg Singularity · 112,231 pts ★ Accepted

Why would a movie audience want to root for the robbers to succeed?? What, other than sheer greed, justifies the bank robbery?? For chump change at that.? Navajo casinos are located in small towns;? the banks wouldn't have that much cash.? ?In fact, on any given day, the casino would have more cash on hand than the bank.

What has the bank done to deserve being robbed?? (That's the standard formulation of a heist movie where the protagonist is the one doing the stealing.? He steals from someone who "deserves it", who is more morally reprehensible than the robber )

Mike Pedley Singularity · 51,300 pts

Agree with all previous comments. There are lots of elements in this logline that I think pose more questions and make it quite confusing to understand where the story is. Why is the father imprisoned? Is the "sodomised" relevant? (I'm curious why he would be sodomised anyway... seems a bit strange to me). How did the tech girl break into his highly secure mansion... and does she then just stand there holding a gun for the duration? Why does she need to do this? Surely she'd be better put to use helping the dare devil sister break their dad out? "Jail" to me suggests the law is involved - rather than just being imprisoned in the casino. I like that there's this family element to the story and that should be the focus.

I think that Richiev's example logline is great and, other than a mean casino boss, I see very little similarity to Ocean's 11.

Hope this all helps. Definitely think there's a story in here though :)

Rutger Oosterhoff Samurai · 930 pts

Your right, they all are Navajo.? I also like the back story.? Of course, as DPG says, the question is all of it PRIMAL enough?

Also I'm thinking about The fanmily being Navajo because Jerel Damon, my partner in crime, is Navajo and knows the people who run the casino there....

Talking about burglers, this is Jerels movie I invested in- "Prowler":?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0on8wU08SnA

Voice Over: Jerel
Actor :Max Graham
X-rated cameo (just kidding): Jerel

If their is some stutter in the movie , it is because of the f#cked up uploading.