When his uncle and Stepfather want a new council building, the council lawyer to impress his Mafia uncle and take over his uncle?s mafia empire , introduces parking fines but he must deal with an irate customer and his computing hacking stepbrother who by interfering with his plans threatens to make him look incompetent.

by hospas Penpusher · 128 pts 395 views

3 reviews

dpg Singularity · 112,231 pts

>>>introduces parking fines but he must deal

As the municipal council lawyer, he can only recommend.? The majority of the council has to approve.

And parking fines are small potatoes, pocket change? when compared to the money his uncle must be racking in by the regular rackets.? Even as a comedy, I fail to see how this is enough to impress his uncle,? tap him as his successor.

And isn't it an "irate citizen"? rather than "irate customer"?

?

Richiev Singularity · 82,714 pts

What are the stakes?

variable Summitry · 18,541 pts

When a greedy lawyer introduces fines to impress his mafia uncle, he must fix what his step brother hacks-up to prove himself a worthy successor

It's a start....

If you are sure about how "his regulating fines" works, I think you don't need many changes. It reads good to me as an episode in comedy. Good luck