Logline (for 6 part series) An incompetent klutz but competent council lawyer, wants his uncle to name his as the next mafia boss so he can get girls but he needs to show he knows how to make money and can run a business. Logline for pilot When his uncle and Stepfather want a new council building, the council lawyer to impress his Mafia uncle and take over his uncle?s mafia empire , introduces parking fines but must deal with the problems that these cause.

by hospas Penpusher · 128 pts 484 views

2 reviews

dpg Singularity · 112,231 pts

At 80 words, this logline is w-a-y too long . Please review the guidelines under "Our formula".?

With loglines, less is more.

variable Summitry · 18,541 pts

I was hooked at "...so he can get girls" haha!
It has the ingredients for a good comedy (Currently imagining an oil headed nerd, social underdog) I might suggest minor tweaks in near future to save some words, but it's great otherwise.
good luck hospas!!