To date the girl of his dreams, a romantic peeping Tom enlists the help of a local cat burglar, but her perilous methods put his law-career at risk.

Hey Paul,

The latest version of the logline still suffers from the same problems as the previous.
Check out all the good comments you got and see how you can adjust the concept and logline accordingly.

Lol, dpg. I raised an eyebrow just the same. I even went as far to think that "cat burgler" was a metaphor for stealing the heart of the girl he loves.

Cat burglaress? Is that a thing? I picture that hot thief dressed in black from the T-mobile commercials a few years ago.

For anyone reading this for the 1st time with no prior knowledge of the many discussion threads, the logline is not likely to make sense.

The guy wants to score with his dream girl -- so he enlists the help of a cat burglar.? WTF?? Again with no prior knowledge of the discussion -- which is how producers, directors and agents will encounter this logline -- it's going to seem nonsensical.? Which means the logline is not going to accomplish it's mission.

And knowing the discussion threads, I still think the cat burglar is the more interesting character.? The guy's a wimp.? She is a stronger and more interesting character.? She's the hook in the logline -- not him.? I suggest the story, and logline, be framed around her.

Enough said.