After being raped by her uncle when she was younger, a pastor’s daughter plots and carries out different ways of destroying her uncles family with coincidental mishaps causing their deaths over the years.

4 reviews

Neer Shelter Singularity · 55,464 pts

Agreed with the above comments, the inciting incident appears to happen off screen and in the past - this will diminish its impact on the MC in the story.

In addition to all the notes above the goal needs specification. We get that she wants revenge but how and it what way? How many people need to die before her revenge is exacted? All the rapist's close family or just half?

The rhetorical nature of my questions is trying to get across that the goals stated are not fulfilling their function in the plot. Best to specify a single target of her revenge, one that will be causally connected to the inciting incident, in other words the rapist.

Richiev Singularity · 82,714 pts

After being raped by her uncle when she was younger

There is no immediacy. Why now?

Either don't tell us about the rape and use it as a big reveal.
or
just say, "After being raped by her uncle." and drop the "When she was younger"

Hope that helps

dpg Singularity · 112,231 pts

The protagonist is a tough sell. ?She's not a sympathetic character because her revenge is disproportionate and indiscriminate in relation to what she suffered. She kills innocent people who had nothing to do with her uncle's crime.