After a land survey reveals that her fence is in the wrong place, a homeowner, unwilling to lose part of her backyard, wages war against her neighbor ? no matter what the law says.

Property Line

12 reviews

t9ejane Penpusher · 256 pts

I see the problem here. Maybe there should not be proof of law, and the act could have gone on unapproved at the time. That would give her two reasons to fight.
How about:
A generous neighbor replaces a downed fence when a homeowner is gone, but instead of following the original fence line, he angles the new fence line to go around a tree, thus stealing inches of property from the homeowner - inches she wants back. A war is waged and the whole neighborhood will pay.

rkeller Penpusher · 1 pts

Shouldn't the neighbor be the protagonist and our POV? And why is she so motivated and inflexible (and wrong) about this stolen hunk of ground? Are her beloved cat and family jewels buried there?

jcs Penpusher · 40 pts

Thank you. I need to revisit the motivation.

jcs Penpusher · 40 pts

Thank you so much. This helps.

Neer Shelter Singularity · 55,464 pts

The concept would improve if this "...unwilling to lose part of her backyard..." would be changed for a compelling reason for her to need to hold on to all her land.

What if she discovered a gold ore vein or oil deposit in her backyard? Or what if her beloved husband or child were berried in the backyard?

I think the motivation is weak and needs to be cleared up for the audience to want to see her achieve her goal.

Hope this helps.

RichW Penpusher · 140 pts

Drama won't work, because it is too mundane, imo.
It could be a funny comedy if it slowly escalates to outrageous proportions.
But that would be a TOTALLY different direction from where I think you want to go.

Lucius Paisley Logliner · 426 pts

It seems natural for a comedy, because http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PropertyLine

jcs Penpusher · 40 pts

Your soccer mom/crime boss idea is very funny!

dpg Singularity · 112,231 pts

Seems like a natural for a comedy, a dark one perhaps, but still a comedy of human folly.