rkeller

Penpusher · 1 points

299 points to Logliner

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5 reviews

A once indulgent father now battles his spoiled children who are stealing his retirement money.

August 31, 2015

on When new clues from the diary of her long lost brother, help a young woman to solve a riddle of decades old crime, she is compelled to go to Siberia in search for her vanished family and a missing treasure.

Perhaps tighten a bit? After a daughter uncovers her dead brother's diary, she scrambles from Brazil to Siberia searching for her family and her birthright fortune.
on In a dystopian world, a geeky geneticist invents a super-seed to avert global starvation and finds himself pursued by dark corporate profiteers.

What about changing the generic "dark corporate profiteers" to a single antagonist or cabal?
on When an escaped Muslim militant surfaces in Hamburg to claim an inheritance, a German intelligence agent uses him to trap a well-regarded Muslim scholar suspected of financing terrorists.

Just a thought... A crusty German intelligence agent scrambles to determine if a half-Checan, half-Russian Muslim is a victim seeking refuge or a terrorist seeking revenge.
on After a land survey reveals that her fence is in the wrong place, a homeowner, unwilling to lose part of her backyard, wages war against her neighbor ? no matter what the law says.

Shouldn't the neighbor be the protagonist and our POV? And why is she so motivated and inflexible (and wrong) about this stolen hunk of ground? Are her beloved cat and family jewels buried there?
on Against a backdrop of growing religious conflict with a foreign civilization, an idealistic scientist seeks truth while a young civil servant seeks power.

Are the scientist and civil servant on the same or different sides? The opening 11 words can be reduced to something like, "Amid religious turbulence..."

A once indulgent father now battles his spoiled children who are stealing his retirement money.