A married woman, riddled with guilt, starts over in a tiny village, but making it her home gets even tougher when she discovers she’s falling for the vicar.

>>>Caught by her husband with another man, Sarah starts over in a tiny village, but fitting in is tough when she finds she?s falling for the local vicar and is treading on some serious toes.

So... your story, in a nutshell, seems to be:? A woman caught in adultery in one town flees in disgrace to another only to be tempted to commit adultery again.

Well, that seems to be rather thin thread with which to weave a plot.? Drama is about conflict.? Not just any conflict, but conflict that induces change.? ?Well, there is induced change in her circumstances (must move to another town), but I fail to see the prospect, even a hint, of the most important change of all, change in her character.

What am I missing here? What is the theme you wish to explore?

How about:A married woman, challenged to love again, finds her heart drawn to the local vicar, but falling for him will bring unhappiness to others and plague her conscience with guilt.

The latest version still has very low stakes - feelings and comfort. What other than an awkward moment or two is at stake for this woman?

Also, there's no need to mention her name best you describe her character - an adulteress. I also don't see why she needs to move to the village so there's no real cause and effect between what happens to her and what she does.

If the inciting incident is her husband catching her then her goal needs to be something connected to this. Her falling for another man was going to happen whether or not the husband catches her, so her goal of getting the vicar as her man isn't directly motivated by the inciting incident it's just a continuation of events.

Any thought on whether this is better...Caught by her husband with another man, Sarah starts over in a tiny village, but fitting in is tough when she finds she?s falling for the local vicar and is treading on some serious toes.

Saturday March 24-2018

Apart from being as economical as possible with the use of words, I like looking for three things in a logline as follows:

1 - The protagonist - In your case that would be, "A married woman".
2 - Struggle with antagonist - "riddle with guilt".
3 - Death stake - "discover she's falling in love for the vicar".

Fair enough, but I'd be more economical with the use of words. At present there are 28 words. I'll try to shorten it this way.

"A married woman riddle with guilt, starts over in a village but her new life gets tougher when she falls for the vicar".

That's twenty three words. Just a quick take without knowing what theme your story will follow. Good luck and I'd like to read more. - Pstone

Agreed with DPG and Richiev.

I'll add that in its current draft the story seems rather tame and lacking in stakes. For the most part, it seems as if her feelings and comfort are all that's at stake - no big deal really. However, if her feelings had an impact on someone else, that dynamic could provide you with higher stakes. For example, if she had a child and her relationship with the vicar could somehow impact the child then you've got a stakes character.