wendylou

Penpusher · 181 points

119 points to Logliner

on A former lone wolf blackwater operative is forced back with his team to stop a terrorist organization from getting a mythological artifact that could destroyed the planet.

A few thoughts: if he's a lone wolf, why does he have a team? Do you mean an item that predates known history of man, as in was deposited here from a previous life form??? Also as with a previous…
on After recruitment, a DSA agent takes on the toughest cases that are thrown at her, while trying to maintain a relationship with her handsome, yet computer-nerd boyfriend.

I think for me it's missing the key 'what actually could go wrong/causes the drama' part.
on A married woman, riddled with guilt, starts over in a tiny village, but making it her home gets even tougher when she discovers she’s falling for the vicar.

How about:A married woman, challenged to love again, finds her heart drawn to the local vicar, but falling for him will bring unhappiness to others and plague her conscience with guilt.
on A married woman, riddled with guilt, starts over in a tiny village, but making it her home gets even tougher when she discovers she’s falling for the vicar.

Any thought on whether this is better...Caught by her husband with another man, Sarah starts over in a tiny village, but fitting in is tough when she finds she?s falling for the local vicar and is treading on some serious…