A family nurses an injured Angel that crashes onto their summer cottage roof back to health, hiding their foreign guest’s wings from curious neighbors until what injured the Angel returns.

Broken Wing

 

A family nurses an ?Angel back to health after it crashes onto their summer cottage roof,, hiding their foreign guest’s wings from curious neighbors until what injured the Angel returns.

8 reviews

Luke Ramsden Logliner · 120 pts

'The premise requires a major suspension of disbelief. The logline raises more questions than it answers.'
I don't understand how these things are a problem? Firstly a logline is an enticement, posing questions that you have read the script to find the answers for. Secondly, you seem to be suggesting that suspending their disbelief is something an audience will be incapable of.

Tony Edward Samurai · 1,450 pts

Again -- just an idea:

'A wing-clipped fallen angel must re-earn their place in heaven by saving the soul of a suburban family?s teenage daughter who has fallen in with a nefarious crime ring.'

Good luck again.

Tony Edward Samurai · 1,450 pts

If the angel has been THROWN out of heaven and can't re-enter until they have learnt some key moral lesson it could find some wings ;)

What if the Angel is like a troubled teen angel -- and in the family they fall upon there just so happens to be a similarly troubled teen who also has a big lesson to learn... etc etc etc..? Just a thought...

As dropped by LoglinesRUS, there are echoes of 'Michael' here -- but there's potential for a new spin on the concept; it's just that this 'spin', whatever it is, needs to be presented in the logline -- I don't think a family 'nursing' an angel back to PHYSICAL strength is interesting (or plausible) enough atm...

Regardless -- best of luck with it.

Former member 20 pts

If the angel has been THROWN out of heaven and can't re-enter until they have learnt some key moral lesson it could find some wings ;) -- it would also deal with dpg's point raised above...

And another idea -- what if the Angel is like a troubled teen angel -- and in the family they fall upon there just so happens to be a similarly troubled teen who also has a big lesson to learn... etc etc etc..? Just a thought...

As others have stated, there are echoes of 'Michael' here -- but there's potential for a new spin on the concept; it's just that this 'spin', whatever it is, needs to be presented in the logline -- I don't think a family 'nursing' an angel back to PHYSICAL strength is interesting (or plausible) enough atm...

Regardless -- best of luck with it,

T.

dpg 112,231 pts

Where's God when you really need him -- on annual leave? Where's Gabriel and Michael and all other host of angels -- furloughed because of the failure of the celestial Congress to pass a budget?

The premise requires a major suspension of disbelief. The logline raises more questions than it answers.

Nicholas Andrew Halls Samurai · 1,742 pts

From your description above, it feels like you're lacking a clear antagonist, a protagonist who drives your story (for everything else the film is about, ET is Elliot's story), and a clear objective goal. I think what you've got at the moment is more a vague premise than an actual story or logline.

PiedPiper 0 pts

Appreciate the feedback, Anymore is welcome.
The narrative I've worked out is along the lines of an more personal E.T. style storyline, than all mankind, with the family and the 2 kids getting into situations all summer long in the woods, woods and with vacationing neighbors curious at this odd "foreign" visitor. They have him wear a wing concealing backpack, pass him off as a cousin from Italy to some and Spain to others as he speaks broken English and Latin, the ladies in the area fall for the new single guy, all the while with ominous incidents occur as demons appear to be looming. The family doesn't know till the 3rd act he's actually their guardian Angel protecting them as one of them is marked, until an climatic battle for one of the family members life and soul.
or something like that...

LoglinesRUS 0 pts

Interesting. Sounds a bit like the John Travolta movie, "Michael." You might consider tightening this up a bit and adding a conflict. Where is the tension? Is someone, natural or supernatural hunting the angel? There needs to be tension and conflict to carry you through three acts.
How about, "A vacationing family must nurse back to health an injured Angel that crashes onto the roof of their cottage, while hiding him from snooping neighbors and forces of darkness that threaten to destroy the angel and mankind, until he regains his strength and power."
Good start and good luck.