wilsondownunder

1 points

299 points to Logliner

7 loglines
129 reviews

Loglines

When the son of an overly protective mother is told he has terminal cancer he decides to run away from home to experience life rather than spend his final days dying under the watch of his smothering mom.

September 14, 2013
Forced to stay at home following a heart attack, a high powered exec realizes he doesn’t know his teenage daughter when she announces she?s pregnant, prompting him to try and reconnect with her and stabilize the family.

July 23, 2013
A corporate executive is forced to choose between taking his dream job overseas with his new girlfriend or staying to try and repair his relationship with his estranged brooding teenage daughter when she announce she’s pregnant.

July 17, 2013
In order to settle a large debt, an exiled hit man agrees to a dangerous but lucrative assassination in Vegas, where nothing goes to plan after he realizes he’s been conned by his estranged brother-in-law.

July 3, 2013
A disgraced former agent is forced to face his past when he is called into a covert operation to bring down a suspected terrorist – the Secretary of Defense

June 23, 2013
Three friends become entangled in a series of mind games as they argue over what they should do when a local Sheriff comes looking for the woman they find murdered in their isolated cabin

June 23, 2013
After lying to her co-workers about being in a relationship, a corporate control freak is forced to bring her ex-fiance with her on a family oriented work retreat

June 23, 2013

Recent reviews

on When a young Midwest psychic with a secret loses her supernatural gifts, instinct leads Crystal True to snowbird country where she uncovers the family she always dreamed of having.

Hi, switching out Crystal True with "her" will make this read better. I don't know what snowbird country is...perhaps switch this out to something any reader will be able to grasp and visualize instantly. Good luck
on In 2016 the cure for blindness is made. A newly cured blind man having trouble facing the "reality" and where his expectations are not met.

I'm curious to know what disappoints. If he was blind is it the reality that the world revolves around appearances? Try to include the meaning behind your story in your logline
on A guilt ridden widower searches for his wife’s long estranged mother in order to tell her of her daughter’s death.

To me it's clear why the mother doesn't know she's dead - they're estranged. What I'm wondering is whether the journey will reveal something about the wife or the husband? What will he gain from the journey? Is he atoning…
on When Aliter, an odd hawk with an overbearing family, leaves his home in a fit of rage, he will have to discover what it means to be truly free if he is to survive on his own.

Hi, looks like you're heading in the right direction already but I thought I'd add one more comment. It sounds as if 'odd' might mean he's gentle or a vegetarian. Why not say that in the logline? The reader might…
on Teetering on the edge of the Redshift Quasar, the last human colony has been destroyed leaving only the colony’s children behind and now every teenager’s dream is their worst nightmare.

Hi, As per above, Red Quasar needs to be explained. Also, the way it's worded it doesn't make sense as to why the children survived the human colony being destroyed. Does this mean they're not human? I sense whatever caused…
on When a young actress accidentally murders her abusive acting coach, she discovers a new acting technique that helps launch her career, but grave consequences lurk just around the corner.

Hi, this has legs. I see similarities to Black Swan in a way - which is a good thing. Maybe you could have her kill her coach in self defence before an audition. Using her emotions from her recent actions…
on A captain and his crew are lost and they lose power and also a bunch of pirates invade their vessel but unfortunately for the captain they have a helicopter.

Hi, Is it similar to Captain Phillips? Maybe. It's hard to say. There is a story about a boat invaded by pirates. So fundamentally yes, it is similar. There are a lot of similar movies though. From my point of…
on A gentle golden retriever flips out, I mean FLIPS! OUT! when a squirrel violates his lawn. In seeking justice, he discovers that he can fire handguns, and now he's never taking another No! again.

Hi, Would this be an animation aimed at adults. Is it intending to be a short or a feature. I can tell its a bit of fun, slightly whacky - hence I like it. Maybe you can firm it up.…
on Who is Snowden and why did he do what he did? Is Snowden a hero or traitor?

Hi, I think you might actually need to tell us who Snowden is. Loglines are all about telling the reader what your films about. A (guy/girl/detective) has to (insert action the take) in order to (insert desired goal). From your…
on Batman is being sought for the murder of ex-cons, cops, and Rachel Dawes. Commisioner Gordon meets a man named "StrongMan" who tells him he can capture Batman. Mr. Gordon grants him immunity for any crimes he many commit in capturing Batman. However Strongman is working for an underground mob. Due to the events that have unfolded Batman has fallen into a deep depression.

All very valid comments above but the most valid is the ownership of these characters by DC. If you're just messing around, the above comments will really help you bring a solid logline together. If you're planning on writing this…
on Killing is what he is afraid of. The circumstantial choice of becoming a writer because of his past costs him desertion and rejection from her lover. The writer never gives up. After several years of exploration and reaching the new highs he becomes the Times Contributor Of the Year to prove his mettle. All fame and name is enough, but he realizes why still he is not at peace and kills himself when at his peak.

Try and tell us what your story is about in one sentence. Your lead character and their mission. Good luck
on When a playboy, slacker returns to join his father?s growing corporate empire, tensions mount between his toe-the-line older brother over who is better suited to run the company.

To me it's clear that the slacker is the protagonist, his brother the antagonist. I agree tere needs to be another element though. A dying dad could be it - the will is yet to be finalized and he has…
on When an author encounters the characters he writes in the real world, creating a number of awkward and humorous moments, he must help them assimilate or return to the stories they belong in.

I'm not saying you adopt this but it's just an idea to show how you could pitch it - you could make him an author of any genre - maybe he's a romance novelist and his lead character becomes obsessed…
on When an author encounters the characters he writes in the real world, creating a number of awkward and humorous moments, he must help them assimilate or return to the stories they belong in.

A crime writer finds himself embroiled in the underworld when the lead character from his best selling book, a Mob Boss, comes to life to track him down to have him rewrite the ending in his favour.
on Four average-joe teenage boys join a secret anti-terrorist association. Now they must fight against terrorism plots on the streets of Seattle from a pernicious terrorist and his nefarious army of agents before it?s too late.

Hi, I think the previous comments about giving your heroes a talent is valid. Why would the group recruit average joes? I like the idea of hackers, up to you though. I'm not sold on the title for an action…
on Jake moves into a new house and falls in love with the mysterious Brenda who has a dark secret that Jake is determined to discover while he tries to convince his reluctant mother of Brenda\'s existence. /Amanda

Hi, A few points. Firstly try not to use character names. You can say "when a man...". Some questions your logline made me ask are: Why does the mom not believe this woman exists? Is the woman a ghost or…
on When Ed tries to commit suicide a mysterious stranger shows up and offers him a deal he cannot refuse and when Ed break the deal he has to battle not just himself but other more dark forces as well. /Amanda

Is this a bit of a Vanilla Sky type film? A guy is offered happiness/a better life in return for...something? I agredd with Kalle. Perhaps define exactly what deal he makes. good luck
on When a entire citys population disappears over night, it's up to the young soldier to find out where and why in order to find his sister again. / Amanda E

I should note that the reason I changed it to 'when he returns from war' is because it explains how he himself wasn't lost with the city. If the city disappeared over night - how is it he didn't go…
on When a entire citys population disappears over night, it's up to the young soldier to find out where and why in order to find his sister again. / Amanda E

Hi, this is an interesting idea. I think your logline needs to reflect the goal of the soldier more. "When a soldier returns from war and discovers his home town has disappeared, he must uncover the truth in order to…
on When a german soldier deserts he come across a jewish family and together they try to flee the country while being hunted by german soldiers.

*reducing