AHStitt

95 points

205 points to Logliner

6 loglines
39 reviews

Loglines

When a brain implant in his wife goes bad, a guru neurosurgeon must find a way to neutralise the implant; but when he discovers the problem is deliberate, not a glitch, he must find and destory the person tampering his wife’s mind before his wife kills herself, his daughter and others.

July 28, 2019
1

When he sees the teacher who sexually assaulted him as a child, a young executive’s memories of years of abuse flood back and he embarks on a mission to protect other boys, only to discover what he really seeks is to avenge his abused friend?s suicide.

May 2, 2017
When it seems his past will destroy his future, a successful young man turns vigilante.

July 4, 2014
Dying of cancer, a woman tries to hide her condition and failing health from her daughter and friends while she struggles to live long enough to see her first grandchild.

May 23, 2014
Awakened memories of childhood abuse drive a rising young executive on an obsession of discovery and revenge that takes him to the brink of self-destruction.

May 23, 2014
Wally's mum's decided he's gay, so he needs a girlfriend, fast! His inept courting lobs him into the heart of a bizzare campaign against cafe society where he falls in love with the wrong girl.

March 23, 2014

Recent reviews

on When a brain implant in his wife goes bad, a guru neurosurgeon must find a way to neutralise the implant; but when he discovers the problem is deliberate, not a glitch, he must find and destory the person tampering his wife’s mind before his wife kills herself, his daughter and others.

?When his wife?s cybernetic implant turns her into a killing machine, a neurosurgeon must discover who tampered the implant in order to neutralise it? and save his wife.?
on When he sees the teacher who sexually assaulted him as a child, a young executive’s memories of years of abuse flood back and he embarks on a mission to protect other boys, only to discover what he really seeks is to avenge his abused friend?s suicide.

Thanks for persisting with this dpg. "protect other boys" becomes a crusade to try and get authority figures (police, the current school etc.) to stop the teacher having contact with boys ie a flawed active-passive approach. His game plan up…
on When he sees the teacher who sexually assaulted him as a child, a young executive’s memories of years of abuse flood back and he embarks on a mission to protect other boys, only to discover what he really seeks is to avenge his abused friend?s suicide.

Thanks guys - reread SLEEPERS (transcript) just to make sure.?? Almost no intersection other than childhood sexual abuse and the urge to get even.? But the message is clear - logline? needs to not be mistaken for Sleepers.? Too many…
on When a deadly soil-borne virus is released in Canberra, an obsessed scientist battles military and political forces to save the city from pre-emptive destruction.

Haha. Are you sure you want to set it in Canberra? Syd, Melb, Perth, Adelaide all seem a bit more "at stake". Albury even! But seriously, the logline has some interest for me, suggesting some large and evil conspiracy. As…
on When women are refused jobs at the city's largest company, a group of women must overcome backward attitudes, language barriers, poverty and tradition to ignite a community battle from the factory gates to the highest courts, for equality.

Great concept. You should "prosecute" this idea if you're passionate about it. For me, the logline was too long and detailed. I could have got excited about "When women are refused jobs at the city's largest company, a group of…
on Spending months planning his wife's murder to make it look like suicide. A man comes home to find his wife has killed herself. He now has to prove he didn't do it.

Comma masquerading as a full stop. "... like a suicide, a man comes home..."
on Spending months planning his wife's murder to make it look like suicide. A man comes home to find his wife has killed herself. He now has to prove he didn't do it.

Good one. I'd explore that story further!
on Talented violinst faces two options of getting away with his suffering-playing the violin.Either follow his evil thoughts that lead him to make a radical solution or follow his best friend's escape plan.

Sorry, this just doesn't work for me. I've got no idea what is "his suffering" - apparently somehow connected to his talent. And I've got no idea what his choices mean. I don't know what the problem is, nor the…
on After finding fame with a stolen screenplay of a recently deceased unsigned screenwriter a movie studio’s script reader turns to murdering his backlog of budding screenwriters for their movie ideas.

BTW - for some reason could not see your post posts. Dark comedy. Good. But same questions. Who's the hero, what's the goal, what are the stakes.
on After finding fame with a stolen screenplay of a recently deceased unsigned screenwriter a movie studio’s script reader turns to murdering his backlog of budding screenwriters for their movie ideas.

I'm not sure if you are thinking Macabre or humour but this appeals to me as an opening. But it's not at all clear where it is going - where does it all end (presume not happily ever after). Is…
on The lives of an undefeated boxer and a former hitman intermingle on the corrupt and sinful streets of New Orleans as they join forces to save the they love city and the people in it from cataclysm

It's got legs. Fix the garbled bits at the end and trim the flowery language - get to the heart. ??? An undefeated boxer and a lowlife former hitman become unlikely partners in order to save the city they love,…
on A soldier suffering from PTSD participates in a virtual reality program to rescue a woman from human traffickers with the hopes it'll cure his condition.

Like dpg, this doesn't work for me. Less that it is contrived but certainly that it does not have stakes.
on They were enemies on the cricket grounds before war breaks out but now they face a common enemy in Malaya. They have to defend a bridge that would prevent the Japanese army reaching Singapore. An impossible task that creates the first heroes and martyrs of the Pacific War.

Forget the Naysayers Anwardi. It's a longish logline but it creates a powerful setup. Work out how to cut words out without losing meaning, eg Enemies on the cricket pitches before the war, they now face a common enemy. They…
on A corrupt rural sheriff must find a senator's abducted daughter to bring a quick end to an FBI manhunt that could expose his ties to local drug trafficking.

Reckon this one is much better Keith. Crisper and clear what the goal and stakes are. Good luck with it.
on When it seems his past will destroy his future, a successful young man turns vigilante.

Thanks R. I'm actually a little torn between keeping it vague and getting the how and what down - on account of the subject being very dark. What are people's reaction to "When it seems his past childhood sexual abuse…
on Jesus is alive…but the Church wants him dead

Very alluring logline. I can think of 50 possible stories. Which one is it? Intrigue and mayhem. I want to read the synopsis.
on When a teenager discovers he can summon a spiritual beast when in danger, he will have to learn how to control his gift if he is to stop a murder who targets those with abilities like himself.

oops - wasn't logged int for that Lx comment.
on Twitch is a family man, but he reluctantly comes out of retirement from crime when his friend in debt asks him to steal a car. When it turns out the car belonged to a drug dealer, he gets help from the last place he expects: His wife?s ex boyfriend who has experience with killing…

Richiev makes good points. For me it really rambled, and Richiev saw why.
on A married couple is constrained to have sex for the first time in its wedding night

Sorry. Meant to add that, in English, your suggested title does not work for me. It is miles from what your logline describes.
on A married couple is constrained to have sex for the first time in its wedding night

Sorry mate, but in English this is seriously wrong, Putting aside that it is not regular English, It gives me no idea who is the protagonist and it gives me no idea of what the problem and goal are. It…