A soldier suffering from PTSD participates in a virtual reality program to rescue a woman from human traffickers with the hopes it'll cure his condition.
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The Subcontract
Participates is a weak verb and suggests that the task was straight-forward. But it wasn't, right? Virtual reality was just a cover for something else. So a soldier suffering from PTSD gets more than he bargained for when he signs up for a virtual reality mission to rescue a woman....
Like dpg, this doesn't work for me. Less that it is contrived but certainly that it does not have stakes.
This doesn't work for me. It feels contrived and it lacks the essential story element of a compelling human emotional investment in a REAL stakes character. The other version you posted on 5/11/2013 is infinitely better.