Andrew Bates

270 points

30 points to Logliner

30 loglines
137 reviews

Loglines

After three girls are kidnapped by a man with multiple personalities they must find some of the different personalities that can help them while running away and staying alive from the others. – Split

January 23, 2017
When an alien experiment crash lands in his backyard and gives him strange powers, a subdued teenager must use his new abilities and protect himself from malicious space hunters.

January 21, 2017
When an intergalactic refugee crash-lands at his farm, a timid teenager must find the courage to protect the exile and himself from malicious space hunters.

March 18, 2016
When the Devil steals the Grim Reaper’s power source, her scythe, releasing the undead on the earth, Death must reunite with her estranged brothers, regain her powers and stop the Apocalypse.

March 14, 2016
When a dying widower is approached by death with an offer, he must choose between donning the cowl, watching over his daughter or reconnecting with his love in the afterlife.

March 12, 2016
When a recluse programmer is coerced into camping and survives a Werewolf attack, he must find a cure and escape the sadistic poachers hunting him.

March 1, 2016
After the Grim Reaper has guided countless people to the Afterlife, a suitable replacement must don the cowl, so Death can finally rest in peace.

December 14, 2015
When a egocentric scientist is abducted by a intergalactic tyrant. She must band together with her fellow captives and escape the prison ship and warn earth of its imminent destruction.

September 30, 2015
After a botched robbery, two incompetent thieves must avoid the authorities and elude a serial killer who they carjacked.

August 20, 2015
After infected by a werewolf, a tormented Farmer frantically searches for a cure while stalked by ruthless hunters hired by the Mayor

October 25, 2013
After reading a page from a spell book an incorrigible boy discovers a cursed princess trapped in a tree in his backyard. He must break the spell and save his father from his new girlfriend, the Witch.

July 3, 2013
"After his wife commits suicide, a renowned lifeguard learns that a close family member is the rapist. He must learn to forgive or drown in sea of anger and hate"

June 28, 2013
As a renowned lifeguard struggles with his wife's suicide, his world is in shambles when he discovers that her rapist is a family member.

June 24, 2013
As A test subject escapes the clutches of a pharmaceutical giant. Using her powers she must rescue her lover and defeat a patient who's power exceeds her own, her brother.

June 21, 2013
When a Fire-Demon from his parents past kidnaps his fianc?, a timid hydrologist must locate a mythical artefact and uncover its power before the Devil kills his lover and unborn child.

November 21, 2012
When a Demon kidnaps his fiance, a timid janitor must uncover his past and locate a mythical artifact that encases the power of a god.

October 8, 2012
When his fiance is kidnapped by a Fire-Demon, a timid janitor must locate a mythical artifact and uncover its power before the Devil kills his lover and unborn child.

October 4, 2012
When a timid janitor?s fiance is kidnapped by a fire demon, he must locate a mythical artifact and uncover its power before the devil kills his lover and unborn child

September 14, 2012
When a timid janitor's fiance is kidnapped by a fire demon, he must locate the mythical artifact, uncover its power and save his partner before the devil's army scorches the earth.

September 13, 2012
The fight for the future begins when a computer hacker learns the world exists in the sophisticated alternate reality of a computer program called The Matrix

September 11, 2012

Recent reviews

on When an intergalactic refugee crash-lands at his farm, a timid teenager must find the courage to protect the exile and himself from malicious space hunters.

This idea is for a short film, I appreciate the feedback. I will go over my notes and try for a better logline, cheers.
on When a dying widower is approached by death with an offer, he must choose between donning the cowl, watching over his daughter or reconnecting with his love in the afterlife.

Thanks for the feedback, guys! :)
on When the apparent heir to the family business dies, the lesser brother, John, and the town?s local photo-journalist must prove himself to his family by covering the story fully until the investigation turns into a homocide with, Bill, the grandfather and owner of the business becoming their prime suspect.

Try to re-write the logline to 25-30 Words. No need to mention the names of the characters. (unless detrimental to the story) * Maybe look for a better?flaw than a lower birth right... ?e.g Anarchist, Loath etc be creative :)…
on After the Grim Reaper has guided countless people to the Afterlife, a suitable replacement must don the cowl, so Death can finally rest in peace.

Thank you all for the helpful feedback. I noticed no I.I after I posted the Logline. The Protagonist is = Death Antagonist is = Time Here is an update "After a mass shooting the Grim Reaper decides to hang up…
on After a botched robbery, two incompetent thieves must avoid the authorities and elude a serial killer who they carjacked.

Okay, will work on this more. Thank you
on After a botched robbery, two incompetent thieves must avoid the authorities and elude a serial killer who they carjacked.

Oh duh! Thanks, updated
on After infected by a werewolf, a tormented Farmer frantically searches for a cure while stalked by ruthless hunters hired by the Mayor

Thanks all for the feedback, Richiev I believe you have hit it on the head, thankyou! Revised "After infected by a werewolf, a tormented Farmer frantically searches for a cure while stalked by ruthless hunters hired by the Mayor"
on After reading a page from a spell book an incorrigible boy discovers a cursed princess trapped in a tree in his backyard. He must break the spell and save his father from his new girlfriend, the Witch.

Hi Tony Nice work, thanks for the feedback.
on In order to settle a large debt, an exiled hit man agrees to a dangerous but lucrative assassination in Vegas, where nothing goes to plan after he realizes he’s been conned by his estranged brother-in-law.

"With a large debt on his head, an(something)assassin agrees to lucrative hit in Vegas. Things fall apart when he discovers that the mark is his estranged brother" Probably not your story, but you get the idea. Best of luck!
on After reading a page from a spell book an incorrigible boy discovers a cursed princess trapped in a tree in his backyard. He must break the spell and save his father from his new girlfriend, the Witch.

Sigh...this is getting a little frustrating. I can see it, just have trouble finding the correct words that work. I'll sleep on in for a week or so and come back hopefully with some new ideas, I appreciate all the…
on After reading a page from a spell book an incorrigible boy discovers a cursed princess trapped in a tree in his backyard. He must break the spell and save his father from his new girlfriend, the Witch.

I've changed a few things, the new logline is at the top...a bit long though :(
on Santa F

The reason for this website is to write, post and critique loglines, not completed stories.
on A determined boy separated from his newfound sweetheart must cross the Bass Strait and come to the rescue before Tasmania is destroyed by rising sea levels.

Nice.
on Santa F

Do you have a logline?
on Santa F

Hi Matina Way to much is happening here. This come across more as a synopsis than a logline. Best advice refer to Karel's notes, you can find them at the head of the page. Also have a read of other…
on After reading a page from a spell book an incorrigible boy discovers a cursed princess trapped in a tree in his backyard. He must break the spell and save his father from his new girlfriend, the Witch.

When a incorrigible boy finds a princess trapped in a tree. He must break the spell before the Witch is elected Mayor and bulldozes the park.
on A determined boy separated from his newfound sweetheart must cross the Bass Strait and come to the rescue before Tasmania is destroyed by rising sea levels.

A boy must overcome his fear of water and cross the Bass Strait to rescue his sweetheart before Tasmania is destroyed by rising sea levels.
on After reading a page from a spell book an incorrigible boy discovers a cursed princess trapped in a tree in his backyard. He must break the spell and save his father from his new girlfriend, the Witch.

Revised "When an incorrigible boy discovers a princess trapped in a tree by a witch's curse. He must break the spell before the park is bulldozed by the spellbinder, the mayor" or "After a princess is trapped in a tree…
on After reading a page from a spell book an incorrigible boy discovers a cursed princess trapped in a tree in his backyard. He must break the spell and save his father from his new girlfriend, the Witch.

I believe by just saying "boy" implies that he is young of age. Thanks for the feedback.
on Determined and short of money, a young boy aims to swim and fly to his dream paradise on the wildest island of Tasmania.

unfortunately it's easier to press a button for a negative than actually give a healthy criticism/feedback.