When Tobi continues to act out, his guardians have no choice but to send him to seek help. The result is anything but textbook.

Rough Times

4 reviews

Richiev Singularity · 82,714 pts

"After burning down his school, a precocious boy must successfully complete an experimental behavior readjustment program or be sent back into the foster system."

pat21532 0 pts

sounds good. As other has said i would reconsider using names in the logline. But this one has potential

Nicholas Andrew Halls Samurai · 1,742 pts

Don't bother using peoples' names in a logline. The reader hasn't had a chance to connect with that character yet, so the name is meaningless. Instead, use their profession and their character flaw (this will also hint at the inner journey your character will take).

What do you mean act out? Are his guardians his foster parents? His goal is to seek help? What does that look like? What's the concrete VISUAL goal that signifies he has either achieved or failed to achieve "help".

"The result is anything but textbook" is too vague for a logline. Instead, tell us who is standing in the way of your protagonist receiving help ... and what the consequences will be if he fails in his goal?