When she begins dating a man twenty years her senior, an idealist teen must convince her overprotective parents he?s Mr. Right after they objected to his presence at a family dinner.

2 reviews

Richiev Singularity · 82,714 pts

You added an element that completely changes the story.

In your last attempt, the issue was the age difference between her and her boyfriend, now, in this attempt, the issue is not that he is older but that he is perceived to be a trafficker.

This change will mean the whole logline must be changed around that element.

dpg Singularity · 112,231 pts

>>>>convince her overprotective parents he?s Mr. Right after he?s wrongfully accused

Uh, wouldn't her objective goal be to convince a judge and jury that he's innocent of the charges?