When an experiment in time travel goes wrong, a scientist must decipher exactly who or what has come back before the military move in and destroy would could be be the key to unlocking the secrets of the universe or our damnation.

The edge of the universe

5 reviews

Former member 20 pts

Thanks Slingink... I revised it a little but not sure its getting any better

When a time travel experiment goes wrong, a former priest must determine if what has come back is indeed god or something far more sinister. When the priests brother, the lead scientist asks for his help, the two brothers must set aside past differences if they are to un-lock the true nature of the entity before time runs out.

Eli Teirelinck 1 pts

Hello Matt,

Here's my thoughts from your logline:

What kind of scientist? Male, female, happy, sad, crazy, ingenious, government, civil etc., you get the idea. We need some idea who the protagonist is beyond a profession.

Is this to be a short or a feature? I ask because imagine that spending sixty or so pages trying to 'decipher something' could be stretching things too thin for too long. So it feel like the logline is missing a couple of story beats, namely the break out of act one and the midpoint turn. I suspect that what comes back is the former, but what happens in the middle?

Tonally it's neutral, you have a scientist and the military. It could be a sci-fi thriller, could be a sci-fi comedy. clue us in! Is it a high-school geek scientist wannabe who stumbles on the secrets of the universe or a salaried scientist with a conscience working for an evil-corp with strong ties to the military.

Alan Smithee 20 pts

When a time travel experiment decouples space and time, a scientist must contain the anachronisms and rig a solution before the military missteps, unleashing damnation.

The scientist needs his character flaw indicated by an adjective. It should be something that we can connect with. That is, an arrogant scientist might be tough. A loner scientist might be a little better. Brainstorm the character, then the plot.

Themostepicguru 65 pts

Describe your protagonist(s) and antagonist(s) with adjectives ex: enthusiastic scientist or daring scientist. Otherwise everything seems fine.

Valentin 2,423 pts

When a time travel experiment unexpectedly bring back an artefact, a scientist must determine its origin and purpose before the military destroys what could be the greatest human discovery or the ultimate doomsday weapon.