When an alien hunts a woman, she must stop the alien and save the ones captured by him.

3 reviews

CraigDGriffiths Singularity · 20,463 pts ★ Accepted

That seems obvious and doesn?t sell me on the film. Specific details can be your friend when wetting and appetite.

To escape a murderous alien and save fellow captures a woman must ......

Or pursued by a ....... rather than escape.

But after the dots is where you can tell me what makes this your story. Your original one could be a number of films. What makes yours better?

Hope this helps

Neer Shelter Singularity · 55,464 pts

Agreed with Craig and Richiev, worth noting that a story should be described within a given time frame - a starting point (inciting incident) and end point (goal). By writing "...an alien hunts a woman..." you're not describing a single incident or point in time rather a period of time - how long has the hunt been going on for and how long will it go on for?

Best to use more time specific rhetoric in a logline such as: After an alien attacks a woman...

Richiev Singularity · 82,714 pts

A few specifics would help us visualize the story. Here would be an example of adding a few specifics.
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"When a struggling professional wrestler is hunted by a flesh eating Alien, she must use her body slamming skills to defeat the alien and release the townsfolk held captive by the creature."