When a Newly recruited police officer discovers that his younger sister is a serial killer, he does everything to keep anyone from finding out.

Two serious protagonist-related problems here from the start. Firstly, it is debatable whether a young - and presumably idealistic - policeman would be so willing to cover for his clearly unrepetent sister without any attempt to try to stop her behaviour. More profoundly, even if you could contrive your way around that, there is little prospect that your film's audience will feel much empathy for a protagonist who has no moral conflict in abetting an unrepetent killer (she being his kid sister hardly manages as a satisfactory extenuation). In fact, he acts with greater immorality than she does, because she could be labelled as being 'sick', while he does not have even that excuse to hide behind.

The only way this brother-sister set up could be commercial is if the logline makes clear that the sister is being coerced to do bad and the brother is taking it upon himself to not only protect her but to hunt down the genius sociopath who is pulling her strings.

Otherwise the story concept is too fundamentally flawed to be able to be sold by any logline.

Steven Fernandez (Judge)

One of the issues I see right off the bat is the genre. Without knowing what the "everything" implies, one can't tell if it's a drama, a crime drama, a comedy, or a dark comedy (yes, you can make a serial killer-themed story funny). To me, the whole logline is a bit clunky and lacks depth. It's missing an antagonist, an obstacle and the stakes, but have an excellent starting point with the word "When":

"When a top police recruit discovers his sister is the killer terrorizing his city, he struggles to maintain his acclaimed reputation while sabotaging the detective bent on killing the killer." (30 words)

Geno Scala (sharkeatingman)- judge

Sorry forgot - Judge Paul Clarke.