Untitled urban fantasy
A ruptured gas line opens up a gaping hole in the Earth, swallowing a bus full of New York City commuters. When rescue attempts fail the shaken survivors must find their own way out of the 1300-foot chasm.
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Hmm, interesting angle making the Army reject disgruntled. At the moment I'm finishing up the book but it feels a little flat in the conflict department, so I'm thinking about adding some type of sub-Earth species living in the deep. I wrote the book as a hero's journey for the Army reject who goes from lost in the world to big-time hero. The pipes weren't deep at all. The bus lands in a pocket adjacent to a water table, making rescue efforts very difficult. Survivors actually find water that is leaking from this water table, but the few who drink the water are poisoned. FDNY does deserve some glory. Do you agree that if there is no leader among the survivors the story will suffer?
Is this for the book or are you doing a script?
If it is for a script, bringing in monsters could make the film very expensive to make.
Should the army reject see this as his chance for revenge, diguising it as a rescue. The heroes of the day are the fire department, you'd have an emotional angle to promote and the rescue attempts would increase the tension.
A 1300 foot hole? How deep were the gas pipes? Chances are the water table is going to be the main concern, not Godzilla's offspring.
Maybe something like... "When a hole swallows a bus of New York City commuters and places them out of the reach of rescue, an Army reject must find the courage to help get everyone to safety and avoid the creatures that caused the collapse." I'm making an assumption that the creatures were involved in the accident.