Two teens from rival families fall in love… it doesn't go well.

Romeo and Juliet

6 reviews

Judah Ray Samurai · 546 pts

Sounds like Romeo and Juliet, but with some setting, and maybe a theme, it could be turned into something different.

Richiev Singularity · 82,714 pts

I just started here as well, my first log line.

Blue Parrot 0 pts

doh! so you did haha :) I'm newly active here and didn't read carefully enough. Plus you got me excited to see a new take on an old classic. That's what puts bums in the seat hey? Cheers

Richiev Singularity · 82,714 pts

You both make good points, It does need a little more to it. BTW

I put this in classics, it is the log line for Romeo and Juliet.

Blue Parrot 0 pts

I agree with brooke. It comes close to Snyder's example of the logline "She was the perfect date... until she had a drink" in that it makes you imagine a whole lot that could go on which is great. Maybe it just needs a little context, i.e. what area are the families rivals in? Are they bikies? Mafia? Keeping up with the Jones' type neighbors? Just a little more information would make a big difference. The mention of a twist of some kind on the old Romeo and Juliet plot might help too. Good start.

brookeschook 0 pts

While I very much like the drama of this statement, it leaves me feeling like I want a bit more information. Who are these teens? Why are their families rivals? Why doesn't it go well?