Three tech minded, cheeky girls are employed by the energetic old mayor of a heterotopian city to pilot giants and defend the city (and eventually the Solar System) against a political enemy, in a post apocalyptic time.

5 reviews

tradingdavid Penpusher · 186 pts

I think just saying 3 geek girl covers the cheeky and tech savy

dpg Singularity · 112,231 pts

I agree with Nir Shelter.

And what threat does the "political enemy" pose that the characters are supposed to defend against? ? Running against the mayor in the next election? ?Nothing illegal about that. ?What dramatic problem justifies the need to deploy "giants"?

Neer Shelter Singularity · 55,464 pts

This logline raises too many questions, for example:

Why three, why not one?

How is cheeky a character flaw?

Why is the mayor being energetic important?

Why is the city heterotopian?

I had to look up heterotopia, is there no better, or more commonly understood, a description you can use?

How could mankind colonise the Solar System? This is a big thing but is only casually brushed over in the logline, colonising the Solar System should be front as a pretext for the setting.

There is a lot thrown into the mix here, best to simplify it to the core essential elements. Either this is a story of humanity structuring itself after colonising the Solar System or a scifi about giant robots piloted by people (kind of been done already in Pacific Rim). Lastly what specificaly is the main character's inciting incident and goal? What motivates them to do what they do and what does defend the city actually mean? Must they perhaps defeat a specific enemy like killing an opposing robot?