Struggling to relate to others, a pet psychiatrist spins out of control thanks to his estranged wife, a high school crush, and an obsessed cat owner.

I've reserved a spot for this on my personal list of favorite films!

Thank you FilmStar and Anne for the feedback. The logline has been balled up and molded again like Play-Doh ... please let me know what you think of the following revision:

"When a dubious pet psychiatrist loses his wife to his richest client, his high school crush helps him decide: steal his wife back before the fast-tracked divorce or keep his client's bribe to save his floundering practice?"

Hi Jim, I really enjoyed your premise. I think this could be a quirky movie that I would enjoy.
However, it wasn't clear who is having the highschool crush - your protagonist? Or another pet owner, a young client?

I like the threefold Truby-esque opponents - however it feels like too much for the logline...I would ask:

1. What is the central conflict ?

2. Who causes the moral / psychological revelation ?

3. What forces him to change ?

Hey Jim

can't wait for W.D!

Regarding your revised logline, the ending to me looks like its all on the "high school crush and the obsessed cat owner to rescue the hero's practice and self worth",
The hero is the one that needs to save his practice and discover self worth, relying on his friends to do that is kinda missing the point of the hero's journey, he would've learnt nothing.

hope that didn't come across harsh.

Hey Andrew!

Sorry for the delay in my response. By the way, love the zombie avatar! "Walking Dead" returns Oct 14th ... can't wait!

After further consideration (and relating back to my four page treatment I recently completed), I'm moving away from the "poor relationship skills" theme and moving more in the way of it being driven more by money issues.

I like your logline - it resonates more with the direction I'm going in. How about this slight revision to your suggestion:

"When a dubious pet psychiatrist loses his wife to his richest client, can a high school crush and obsessed cat owner rescue his practice and self-worth?"

Hi Jim

An acclaimed pet psychiatrist, notorious for poor interpersonal skills, risks his career, love, and sanity at the hands of his estranged wife, a high school crush, and an obsessed cat owner.?

Knowing the background now, it does show the intentions, but if its not powerful and easy to interpret as a logline, would they even look at the synopsis?

I like your logline, but it doesn't jump out at me...here are a few factors

*What is his goal? To save his marriage? To save his practice?
*Who is the antagonist or obstacles (Jon being a major conflict to your story isn't even mentioned in the logline) Steals his wife, threatens his practice...nasty written all over him. put him in your logline.
*Where is the i.i? Is it his wife giving him the divorce papers? Discovering his best friend sleeping with his wife? or the high school crush kissing him? the obsessed cat owner threatening to sue?. (Inciting incidents are optional, but they do give us a clear indication of what has happened and that change is coming)

The risks are great, the high school crush will be the catalyst/love interest (I assume) to self discovery, the obsessed cat owner is perfect, in a funny twist she could also be a guide in disguise. totally up to you.

My spin...

"When a dubious pet psychiatrist loses his wife to his rich best friend, a high school crush and a obsessed cat owner aid him in saving his practice and discover self worth."

I hope I've helped

Andrew

I got it... thanks, Jim -- actually I just posted a fourth last night.

Sorry - my previous comment was intended for jcotton. I hit reply to one of his postings, but for some reason my response was posted as a new comment.