Renee must convince her group to stick to the plan in a future reality show where people die and the only reward is survival.

Renee’s turn

6 reviews

Neer Shelter Singularity · 55,464 pts

Hi Craig as you can see from the above comments the mechanism of game play is irrelevant especially in such a prolific genre. No matter how interesting a game and how challenging the rules are your audience will be ahead of you once they realise the genre. That will happen with in the first 10 minutes of the film or more importantly within the first 10 pages of reading the script.

I think best to focus on the character her flaw and her inner journey as these are the only things that will set this story apart from its multiple iterations in other films.

Hope this helps.

Rutger Oosterhoff Samurai · 930 pts

"The Running Man" meets "The Hunger Games meets "The Maze Runner" (and a lot of other movies!!).

So let's look at those three loglines:

The Running Man (1987):

"An unjustly accused prisoner in 2019 is given a slim chance at freedom if he enters a battle-to-the-death on a television game show. (Rotten tomatoes)

The games playground is divided into several small districts!!

The Hunger Games (2012):

"Set in a future where the Capitol selects a boy and girl from the TWELVE DISTRICTS to fight to the death on live television, Katniss Everdeen volunteers to take her younger sister's place for the latest match."

The Maze Runner (2014):

"In the post-apocalyptic era, a boy who remembers only his first name wakes up in a huge maze, surrounded by other boys. They attempt to unlock the secrets of the maze and gain their freedom."

Nestled somewhere in between The Hunger Games and Divergent series is The Maze Runner. Like those two, it?s centered around young adults and set in a futuristic society. "Lord of the Flies" meets "Cube" meets "The Hunger Games".

GIVE ME THE SAME THING, ONLY DIFFERENT!

So 'what's' your story really about, and 'what character flaw' sets the protags/antags apart from the characters in the in the above loglines? Is the girl unjustly accused from 'something'., is she a natural born leader? What sort are earthly world are leading characters living in? etc...

" Renee, a natural born leader, .....

.

FFF Mentor · 7,850 pts

It seems still a little too vague.
Traditionally you don't put names in the logline: http://www.raindance.org/10-tips-for-writing-loglines/
(Because names means nothing and you have do condense a lot of information in a few words).