When a DiD sufferer takes an experimental drug for his condition, his alternate personality, who perceives reality differently, begins to takeover and goes on a quest to free humanity from hidden beings controlling reality while his alternate persona believes he’s actually on a murderous rampage.

Richiev Singularity · 82,714 pts February 3, 2017 ★ Accepted

Here is an attempt:
-----
"After he's treated with an experimental drug for his DiD, a man will multiple personalities begins killing sinister?beings he discovers are secretly controlling the universe, but must fight his alternative personality who claims he is killing innocent people."

SouthWestSusie Samurai · 766 pts February 2, 2017

Hi Knightrider,

This sounds like a man in conflict with himself and asks the question: to what length would a man go to stop himself from ?being a mass murderer. Could get pretty ugly! So far so good.

I don't know if DiD is easily, quickly understood. I had to look it up, but that may be me. Even if you spell out the name for the whole thing, there's the issue of people not being up on the new name (no longer Multiple Personality Disorder). But again, that's me.

More importantly, what is the actual trigger that gets the one personality to suspect the other? ?Does he know he has two personalities, or more?

So something along this line is an event that kicks him into .... some action
When a man who knows he has an alternate personality discovers a ?dead body under his bed, he ...

but what is the action?

"takeout ghosts he sees controlling reality"...
that gets a bit fuzzy...
he's going to fight these ghosts, somehow, and this will do what? Put him at peace with his alternate self? Stop the alternate self from killing?

A minor note: "who's" should be "whose"

Good luck with the dramatic logline.

Cheers, SouthWestSusie :)

2 reviews