On a morning jog a woman stumbles upon a dead body, afterward she is visited by spirits prompting her to dig into the past to uncover the sins of the town saints.

3 reviews

Richiev Singularity · 82,714 pts

Is their any relation between the lead character and the deceased? That would actually help the story if it was personal to the lead.

Neer Shelter Singularity · 55,464 pts

Agreed with Dkpough1, what is it she must achieve by the end of the story?

It also sounds as if the inciting incident is the spirit visiting her not the discovery of the body, so you can cut the whole clause about the jog and discovery.

Lastly, this doesn't sound like Noir, but more like a supernatural thriller - you should consider changing the genre.

Dkpough1 Summitry · 18,095 pts

This logline lacks conflict. It also needs a specific objective goal. As a result of these spirits visiting her, what is her specific goal? Who's standing in her way? Why does she care?