Novel: A french teenager runs away to fulfill his dream of becoming an actor in L.A.

That's the premise, not the logline.

Logline needs to identify conflict. Where does conflict arise from? Act I to Act II?

How about something like "To prove to his family that he's not worthless, a French teenager goes to LA to become an actor."

If you don't like that, you have to think about what it is that drives him to go to LA. What is he trying to prove, and to whom?? If he fails, in what specific way will that affect him?

Maybe he's doing it to get the girl he's always loved, and the girl is determined she'll only ever marry a movie star. Or maybe he's doing it to prove to his?dying and hopeless?little brother that miracles?do happen if you try hard enough.

>>>Well, the story isn?t about him becoming an actor especially,

But that's not what the logline says.

Despite the fact that the American film industry is becoming decentralized, Hollywood remains an irresistible magnet for hordes of young people who want to break into the business.? And that's the problem with this logline.? There's nothing that makes the teenager stand out from the horde.? Being from France is not enough and it begs the question: since he's French, why doesn't he try to break into the French film industry?? Why MUST he come to the United States?

Why is he running away?? What is the winter camp?? Is is something set up for refugees?? And, like others mentioned, why LA when he could blend just as well in large cities with active film producing companies... Toronto, New York, Chicago, etc.? When he runs away, is someone going to come looking for him? If so, why?? On his way to follow his dream, what obstacles does he encounter?

The updated thing is -- you don't have to run to Hollywood anymore to be an actor or filmmaker. Matter of fact, Hollywood is running away from Hollywood these days. And for good reason, too!

Your story's premise may be outdated.

Hi Jumeriot!

This is my second reply on a posted logline, so keep that in mind and I just want to help.

Great!
But why is this a great story to tell? What stands in his way? What happens? if he is gets there and doesn't find a job as an actor? How will he figurative die if he does not fulfill his dream?

Let us know!

Thanks,

Aschwin

Great start. Add a tiny bit more. Is there a something that will happen if he doesn't get a gig in a certain amount of time? Or something else? A "and then what?"