pedrots

Penpusher · 51 points

249 points to Logliner

on When a criminal investigation threatens her wealthy estate, a selfish woman places it in a charitable foundation run by her na?ve, unhinged colleague and attempts to maintain control without her knowledge. (Sitcom)

Confused. She transferred her complete estate to the foundation? That'd make little sense financially wise. Also her COLLEAGUE runs the foundation? wouldn't it be her EMPLOYEE then? assuming?the protag?chairs the Foundation Board.
on Novel: A french teenager runs away to fulfill his dream of becoming an actor in L.A.

That's the premise, not the logline. Logline needs to identify conflict. Where does conflict arise from? Act I to Act II?
on A soldier returns from war to bury his parents and tend to his sister who remains in a coma. He soon discovers her constant sexual abuse and seeks revenge on her behalf. ~this is a revenge film in the vein of Taken meets Identity~

After losing his parents a [adjective] soldier returns home to care for his comatose sister, only to find out she's been sexually abused for years. Enraged, he hunts down the people who hurt?his?only surviving family member.Thoughts?