Noir Dramedy: Attempts by a mentally unstable and displaced young couple to forge a family with a stolen baby are jeopardized by law enforcement, a relative with vested interest, and an abusive ex-lover; their only chance of success seems to be returning to their homeland.

by 1yzzy75 Penpusher · 166 pts 687 views

4 reviews

Neer Shelter Singularity · 55,464 pts ★ Accepted

The story is unclear. Check out the 'Formula' tab on the top bar for more information on how to construct a logline.
Here are a few pointers to get you started.

A logline should be between 25 and 30 words. You also need to specify one main character and their flaw in order to indicate their inner journey.

A logline needs to position the story within the confounds of a finite timeline as determined by an inciting incident and goal.? What was the event that motivated the characters in this story to take action towards achieving a goal? To that matter, you need to describe a specific goal for the main characters, what is the specific goal here?

1yzzy75 Penpusher · 166 pts

Thank you. You have helped me clearly identify the theme to my script! I appreciate your opinion so much. I love the good old fashioned Individual Vs. Societal Norms stories.

dpg Singularity · 112,231 pts

And why should the audience root for the mentally unstable and homeless couple to succeed? They're mental and physical instability would seem to put the baby in long term dire jeopardy. ?A baby they kidnapped, not less. Seems like they ought to fail, need to fail for the sake of the infant.

fwiw

1yzzy75 Penpusher · 166 pts

EDIT: Noir Dramedy: Attempts by a mentally unstable and displaced young couple to forge a family with a stolen baby are jeopardized by law enforcement, a relative with vested interest, and an abusive ex-lover; their only chance of success lies in returning to their homeland.