King Rossi, a famous New York City criminal who has a great interest in football and World Cup, gives an order to a group of professional thieves to steal the Original Cup from the Fifa Museum.

2 reviews

Mike Pedley Singularity · 51,300 pts

As Richiev said, who is the protagonist? If it's King Rossi (don't need to include names in a logline - just a characteristic) then does he just sit back and wait for the thieves to deliver the cup? Where's his conflict? What's his story?

Who/what are the antagonistic forces? Who is trying to stop the thieves? Police? Rival criminals?

Make the reader feel like this isn't just an ordinary job. You need a hook.

Richiev Singularity · 82,714 pts

Loglines are written from the point of view of the lead character?

Who is the lead character?

Also, this is just the set up to the story; the story presumably would be about the robbery and the plot twists and turns that happen along the way.