Mike Pedley

Singularity · 51,300 points

70 loglines
698 reviews

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Singularity

Loglines

When he killed himself, he left five letters to five people in his life giving each a special task which he believed would bring them happiness. These are their stories.

December 7, 2020
A Christmas-loving elf leads a rebellion to bring back the true meaning of Christmas after he gets his dream job at the North Pole only to discover it’s a slave labour camp ran by a maniacal dictator: Santa Claus!

November 27, 2020
2

A screen-obsessed 11-year-old gets trapped inside the dusty book left to him by his Grandfather where he must learn to visualise the fairytale world around him, play through the story, and imagine his way to the very last page.

November 10, 2020
1

An arrogant crime scene cleaner and her impressionable partner/best friend begin a messy murder spree to provide the work that’ll save their business from going under.

August 4, 2020
2

An animal-hating animal control officer wakes up as a stray dog and must find a way to turn back but when he’s impounded and scheduled to be put down he instigates a jailbreak to save himself and the other end-of-lifers

June 16, 2020
2

A frustrated California high-school senior navigates her final year as she struggles to earn a place at an East Coast college and gain some independence from her overbearing mother.

March 10, 2020
After finally arriving home after months in hospital with leukemia, a pragmatic pharmaceutical statistician struggles with ?normal? life as he builds himself back up to running 10k races again.

February 24, 2020
4

After his wife of 48 years asks for a divorce, an eccentric old codger embraces single life and modern dating in the search for a new girlfriend.

February 20, 2020
When a cavernous sinkhole opens up in a bustling city, a claustrophobic geologist leads a team of experts down to investigate, but when the sinkhole collapses, they find themselves trapped underground? and they?re not alone.

February 18, 2020
After a student accidentally dies and she gets the blame, a burned-out teacher goes on the run, but when news spreads and kids? behaviour and test results improve nationwide, teachers unite and she must lead them in a revolution to bring fear and respect back to the classroom.

February 12, 2020
When his big brother goes missing in the wilderness, an anxious high-school senior heads into the wild to find him? accompanied by his brother?s ghost

February 6, 2020
Liberal Cardinal Bergoglio tries to convince Pope Benedict XVI to accept his resignation, unaware the conservative pontiff is sizing up his harshest critic to lead the Catholic Church after his shock departure.

January 20, 2020
1

During WWI, when British Intelligence discovers the German’s retreat is a trap, two young soldiers must venture across enemy territory to deliver orders halting an attack that would cost the lives of 1,600 soldiers

January 18, 2020
During a near-future nuclear war, when an A-bomb forces her into a public bunker, an optimistic head-nurse and mother takes charge of the eclectic group of strangers to ensure they survive the mandatory month-long confinement

January 10, 2020
After the die-hard romantic paramour of a married woman is asked to help kill her abusive stepfather, he plans the perfect murder but when he discovers she is using him as a pawn, heartbroken, he plots his revenge.

January 8, 2020
Los Angeles, 1988: When his estranged daughter needs money for drama school, an ex-master criminal turned stuntman plans an elaborate heist during the filming of an elaborate heist movie known as ?Die Hard?.

December 19, 2019
When he?s pulled back into the real world after a mysterious board game traps him in a jungle for 26 years, a fearful man-child and his fellow players must survive the dangers that appear on every dice-roll to finish the game so he can return to his childhood.

December 17, 2019
When he?s lost in the woods looking for his dog as a blizzard blows in, a despondent city-dweller must find a way back to his remote cabin before he freezes to death.

December 12, 2019
When criminals mistake him for one of their own during a botched drug deal he?s observing, a nervous novelist, researching his latest book, goes undercover for the police to bring a notorious crime lord to justice.

December 9, 2019
After discovering their world is never safe while his magic ring exists, a humble halfling must journey to the fire mountain where it was forged and destroy it while a dark lord seeks it to cover the land in darkness.

December 7, 2019

Recent reviews

on When a socially-awkward man encounters a thespian girl in an improv class, he must push past his anxiety and perform in a battle for her hand against a man with the same intent.

The whole thing kinda reduces the girl to a prize to be won... not sure that's really appropriate in this modern day world. She needs to be an active character, not just a trophy.
on Seeing his wife’s ghost each morning for breakfast a man becomes vigilante after the police decide to stop investigating her murder.

I think you can do better than "a man". He's your protagonist after all. Can you give us a little more so we get some idea of who he is and what his arc is. I'm guessing it's being able…
on A college basketball player, dumped on the street by his girlfriend, is pushed to the edge by the pressure of school, sports, work, and savage city life.

So tell us what he's going to do about it. That's the story. Films are not just about problems, they are about how people try to solve them.
on After discovering that reality is a computer generated prison, a hacker must unleash his own power to save to world.

Stick it in Examples if it's an existing movie. What's standing in his way? It sounds way too easy atm.
on After aliens abandon an imminent victory against Earth, an alien Ally and a courageous lieutenant join forces in an audacious plan to stop the extinction of the solar system.

It seems like the inciting incident is the moment they discover why the aliens abandoned the war. That's the bit which sets up the question and leads to the goal. That's what bookends your story and it's fundamental to understand…
on After aliens abandon an imminent victory against Earth, an alien Ally and a courageous lieutenant join forces in an audacious plan to stop the extinction of the solar system.

Why would the aliens abandon an imminent victory? It makes no sense and has no relationship to the goal of stopping the extinction of the solar system. Why is the solar system going extinct anyway? Without knowing what specifically is…
on When all contact is lost with a colony on a distant planet, a space pilot who claims to have discovered a terrifying creature there must join a team of bull-headed marines to investigate.

Re: the logline itself: Since Ripley is the protagonist, the inciting incident could/should be framed around her. The fact they've lost contact with the colony is key, but I think it needs to be from Ripley's perspective. There's some leg-work…
on When all contact is lost with a colony on a distant planet, a space pilot who claims to have discovered a terrifying creature there must join a team of bull-headed marines to investigate.

This is just Aliens, right? Stick it in examples if it is or you'll get a lot of people saying "this has been done before"! Hahaha!
on When he experiences an unexpected sensation in his nether regions during a massage from another man, George is forced to confront his own sexuality and insecurities.

The End. Specifically, what happens? Visually, what are we watching on screen. All the action is happening inside the character's head. We don't need to know his name's George. It takes up valuable real estate in a logline. Instead give…
on An aspiring teen screenwriter on the autism spectrum, battling discouragement from peers and writer’s block, is determined to write a blockbuster movie and submit it to a Hollywood screenwriting contest after she meets one of her original characters based on a dream she had one night — an intelligent robot cat.

Ok... so she's currently battling discouragement... what will she be battling (besides that) while she writes the movie? What is stopping her achieving her goal? What will stand in her way? In other words, what will sustain the 90mins+ runtime?…
on When a successful Realtor begins having nightmares of real-life crimes that are orchestrated by the mob he must find how to use this “gift” to save the victims and himself.

Why is he a realtor? As cdesikan said, we need more specifics - are these premonitions which can save the victims? Or transferred memories which can help solve a crime and get justice? Why does he need to save himself?…
on After a freak accident, a pacifist schoolteacher finds that his memories now include a combustive war veteran’s vengeance.

So what's he going to do about it? You've given us a setup but no plot.
on Six interwined stories about high school students dealing with bullies and high school cliques.

That's not a theme, that's a setting.
on After her father’s bankruptcy, a high school student determined to attend Harvard must outwit two high school teachers who involve her in a cruel wager to determine whether two students can be made to fall in love.

There's a disconnect here between the inciting incident and the goal. Harvard is expensive... so is she trying to get a scholarship? If so, we kinda need to know that. What relevance does the wager have on her journey to…
on Six interwined stories about high school students dealing with bullies and high school cliques.

For a story that is a multi-stranded narrative, the logline must be framed around the theme of the story. What is the theme here?
on A photo safari guide enlists the help of his daughter and her billionaire husband to find an historic treasure near Kilimanjaro. What they find is astonishing, and nearly costs them everything.

This is kinda like a cross between a logline and a tagline. It's incredibly vague and definitely in need of clarity. At what point do they make the discovery of the treasure? If it's at the end of the second…
on After stealing money from what he believes is a small time gang, a former criminal (never caught) finds himself and his girlfriend being pursued by the men he stole from. With nowhere left to go, our protagonist is forced into working with the police to help track down what turns out to be a deadly criminal organization.

Why is he stealing money from a gang? What makes him better than the people he's stealing from and therefore makes us root for him? "A man" - that's all you have to say about the hero of your story!?…
on A researcher discovers a group of young children who have a collective consciousness, but no one believes him, even when he learns of the children’s plan to rid the world of all those outside their group mind.

So what's he going to do about it? This is just the first act, what happens for the duration of the 90min+ runtime? Who is this researcher? Why is he our protagonist?
on When an adventurous lone hunter is lost to the river gorges, chasing a mysterious man or beast known as the Bunyip, his grieving family and friends must pick up the pieces and discover the truth about his disappearance.

I think, since this is a story with a solid midpoint, I'd suggest using the "but" method. At the moment, it reads like any other story, suggesting that his disappearance is the inciting incident. I get the impression this isn't…
on After the lawyer’s aide is torture and kill by the 20 policemen—he sues them, and must uncover their leader who order the hit in the underworld of police corrupt bureau.

No problem at all. We're all learning! Check out my blog - I've done a couple of posts about crafting loglines: lefttowrite.co.uk