Inorder to Save and Marry his Indian Girlfriend who is getting arranged Married, An American Highschool teacher is being tricked by his Indian Student and Colleagues plans & Kidnaps his Girlfriend from her Strict Cultural Family

Yes thank you odie,

Actually it happens in US and teacher is a US citizen and his girlfriend is First generation indian from US not a student

Yes trick part is actually the hook which is finally revealed

The Student is also first generation Indian American finds his teacher is helpless so he decides to help him

What motivates the student to help him is the main twist or plot in the story! Thats why he tricks him into kidnapping Which the truth is revealed later

When a Native American Indian professor deep in shamanism finds true love with his spiritually gifted but bullied Hindu Indian student, he must develop a cross-cultural ruse to whisk her away and marry her before she is engulfed inside the dreaded loveless marriage others have arranged for her.

Comedy or drama, either way I like it.

Good job on the concept, Danny!

Let’s workshop a bit:
“A lovelorn” – lovelorn is good!
“high school teacher” – there’s a US > L.A. connection in your logline, why? The reader will assume an Indian HS teacher thus mentioning L.A. will make them do a double-take. If your teacher is from the US, then you need to preface this for orientation purposes.
“is being tricked by his student” – no clue what this means, what does this look like on the screen?
“and colleague’s” – can be removed.
“resorts to kidnapping his Indian girlfriend” – As mentioned by others, who is this girlfriend to your teacher? The only assumption is that she is a student of his – anyone else would be outside the world of your logline.
“from getting arranged married” – Ok, this plausible.
“and then fighting her strict cultural family” – can be removed, by stating an arranged marriage the reader will get she comes from a strict fam.
“takes her to L.A. and Marries her” – this can be interpreted as they embark on an L.A. whirlwind romance.

Suggestion: Click the Formula link at the top of the page, read the page, then reread all input given to refashion your logline. I know your plot is still in development. Again, I’m hoping the “trick” is your comedy hook and the entire logline can be restructured around it, hope you find this constructive.

What is the relationship between the students and colleagues, and the girl he is in love with? In other words, what is their motivation for tricking the lead character?

Hey Mate,

Its perfect, Thank you

I'm still unclear with my Plot what to reflect and what not to

Please find this revised one, i've added few lines

“A lovelorn high school teacher is being tricked by his student and colleagues resorts to kidnapping his Indian girlfriend from getting arranged married and then fighting her strict cultural family takes her to L.A and Marries her”

Pls advice if this is understandable and clear

Hey Richie

Thanks for your review

Its my first time, I'm learning things slowly

I have made a revised one by given 3 reviews and added few lines

“A lovelorn high school teacher is being tricked by his student and colleagues resorts to kidnapping his Indian girlfriend from getting arranged married and then fighting her strict cultural family takes her to L.A and Marries her”

Pls advice if this is understandable and clear

Hey Odie,

Thanks for your review

Haha, No culture accepts a student Teacher relationship

Actually its a different story, I was not clear before

But I have made a revised one by given 3 reviews and added few lines

"A lovelorn high school teacher is being tricked by his student and colleagues resorts to kidnapping his Indian girlfriend from getting arranged married and then fighting her strict cultural family takes her to L.A and Marries her"

Pls advice if this is understandable and clear

This is what I can glean:
“When falling for an Indian student, an overseas American high school teacher resorts to kidnapping in order to prevent her upcoming arranged marriage”

I can’t think of a culture where this relationship is OK – I’m missing the comedy. Maybe the “trick” is your comedy hook, and the logline can be reorganized around it?

Keep going.

This logline is hard to read.

What is the main conflict of the story? Is the story about him kidnapping his girlfriend, or is it about what happens after he kidnaps his girlfriend... btw, why does he have to kidnap her, why doesn't she go willingly?

"When he kidnaps the woman he loves to save her from an arranged marriage, a lovelorn teacher must..." (Do this thing in order to: win her heart? Stay out of Jail? Convince her parents to let her marry him?)

I actually don't know what the lead character's goal is from this logline to be honest.