Hacker Dax lives free and profits from the system that controls most of society… until one of the MegaCorps design a digital virus that kills hackers who infiltrate their system. Dax is forced to lead a revolution to return control of knowledge back to the people, or die for leeching off them for so long.

When the world's #1 hacker contracts a digital virus designed to kill hackers, he must rise up and bring down the system he has been leeching off for so long.

Hey Kriss, thanks for the great suggestion. It gives me a way to work forward.

I would agree with Andrew and also think ChasFisher's attempt sums it up better but still think that it can be even more condensed, You seem to have a very complex story that will be told throughout rather than set up in the opening, so you will have a lot to get into the short log line. I think you need to really focus on the main element that the protagonist is going to have to do.

'A brilliant hacker's life is put at risk by a new virus which destroys those who disobey the system, causing the hacker to fight against the people he has been leeching off in order to prevent certain death.'

Something like that although I know still a little all over the place. I think the idea is very interesting and definitely can go places.

Thanks Andrew. I agree there is too much going on here but it is a very plot-driven film. The hacker's flaw is that he profits from a system that controls people. His outer conflict is that he is dying from a digital virus and the genre is fairly obviously a thriller.

The world's best hacker profits from the system that controls most of society? until Chango MegaCorp and their team of Litigators design a digital virus that can kill hackers. The hacker must either tear down the system he has leeched off for so long... or die for his sins.

To much is happening in this logline, reads more as a movie blurb than a logline.

*Try to reduce the logline to 25-27 words - 25 words if you can.
*Names and age isn't relevant in a logline unless its relevant to the story.
*Give the protagonist a flaw, something he needs to overcome at the end of the story.. How would you describe him "compulsive, obsessive, loner, timid"
*We want to go for the hero, being a hacker we need something that makes us cheer for him (Hacking being illegal). e.g Hacking a pharmaceuticals organization testing on humans.. not your story but you get the idea.
*Give the Antagonist a face, Who runs MegaCorps? Focus on one, not the plural. Is the person who created the virus a hacker also? Does the hero know him/her? What is his relationship to this person?

Fill out below and your logline pretty much writes itself.

Protag- Hacker
Antag- MegaCorp...CEO?
Goal- ?
Inner Conflict- ?
Outer Conflict- ?
Irony- ?.
Hook- Digital Virus
Genre- ?

Good luck!