An old man lives alone in a cemetery , he just asks passenfers for a hug but nobody cares apart from some immigrants.

4 reviews

Neer Shelter Singularity · 55,464 pts

This logline lacks all the major elements that are needed to describe a plot. Perhaps read a few other posts on the site to glean more about logline conventions in general and plot structure in particular. Needless to say, check out the 'Formula' tab on the top bar first.

dpg Singularity · 112,231 pts

>>>Nobody lives in cemeteries, they are brought there after they die.

Actually, they do in some countries. What country is this set in?

Anyway, the logline sets up a situation for a plot but doesn't follow through with a complete set of the basic elements for a plot.? What is the inciting incident?? And who is the protagonist, the old man or an immigrant?? What is the objective goal of the protagonist?

Foxtrot25 Summitry · 17,380 pts

1. Nobody lives in cemeteries, they are brought there after they die.
2. If people DID live in cemeteries, then your old man wouldn't live there alone.
3. What do you mean by "passengers who go to cemeteries?"
4. Hugs are better than drugs.
5. I wish more people cared about hugs.
6. Immigrants are the greatest people on the planet, so of course they are the only ones who care about hugs.
7. Click on the formula tab for loglines.

allal El Alaoui Penpusher · 215 pts

An old man lives alone in a cemetery , he just asks passengers for a hug but nobody cares apart from some immigrants.