5 reviews
Although it's a very different story, my favorite ex-con movie is the Shawshank Redemption (Unforgiven?comes to mind as well.) ?Watching the movie or reading the script?might be helpful to you?in digesting the above comments and?fleshing out your logline with the specifics of why we want to root for this ex-con, what his unique goal is and what's at stake?beyond true love. ?Keep at it.
Here would be an example of giving us a "why" he must sacrifice everything: (Your logline would be different of course)
-----
"When his true love is diagnosed with cancer, an ex-con breaks his vow to go straight, to steal the money for her experimental treatment"
It's amazing how great and exciting we think a logline sounds until it goes under the scalpel -- and it doesn't even have to be a sharp one at that.
One thing is for sure, I will never use "sacrifices everything" ever again. lol.