An awkward, shy and self-conscious woman must learn to dance salsa with her old crush, for her best friend’s wedding

2 reviews

dpg 112,231 pts

Why MUST she dance with her old crush??? What's are the stakes?? What is lost if she refuses to dance with him?

Scott Danzig 2,039 pts

Awkward, shy, and self-conscious ... too many adjectives.? I'd at least drop "shy", because I'd imagine that's implied by self-conscious.

The fact that she's dancing with an "old crush" doesn't seem important, mentioning him in a logline seems even a bit out of place.? I'd remove "with her old crush" unless there's something else you'd want to add that makes it say more than "here's where the romance will be".

I do like the good ol' practice-dancing movie...? whether it be to get into a great school, to have a glorious performance, or whatever, but dancing at a wedding doesn't seem to be a very grand moment.? While I agree the bar needs to be set lower for the self-conscious, awkward dancer, there probably needs to be higher stakes, so we know why she's doing it.

Maybe something like:

An awkward, self-conscious woman must learn to dance salsa for the wedding of her best friend, who was recently diagnosed with a brain tumor.

I would watch THAT movie.